#if that was annie the show would have taken it so much more seriously

[thecampbellclub]

the boys vs not blaming hughie for his own SA

[the-beskar-alchemist]

Episode 2 thoughts

Here we go with more of my ramblings!

(Also just a reminder, I’m including game canon information so heads up if you need to bypass this post to avoid spoilers)

Thoughts below the cut....

It appears they’re making Indonesia “Ground Zero”, I don’t know if this is a result of Indonesia having a surge of fungal infections within the last few years, or if their environment would be considered potentially hospitable for the cordyceps. There’s also the fact that in-game the cordyceps seemingly started in the U.S. before spreading worldwide.

I’m not quite understanding the physiology behind the mouth tentacles thing, but I’ve seen enough hentai that it’s creepy either way

There’s a running theme of butterflies surrounding the girls (Sarah and Ellie)

Ellie’s sarcasm is on-point again, Bella really did bring our precious babygirl to life on a level that makes me so happy

I have to wonder about Pedro having to do things like move furniture, considering his poor back

So not anything significant, but I really appreciate that the leaning building from the game was incorporated into the background shot. A little sad that they didn’t show them going through that building like in the game, but I guess it would’ve been an issue of set design costs/extra film time.

Ellie actively avoiding mentioning Riley (“Matter of fact, let’s just keep our histories to ourselves” ~ Joel in the game), so that figures

Okay they moved up the hotel scene where Ellie pretends to be checking in, originally this took place in Pittsburgh at a later point in the summer, not Boston. And it was AFTER the thing with Tess.

Joel and Ellie’s awkward conversation-turned-moment of bonding, and her asking about Joel/Tess? Joel shot that shit down so quick lol

So they’re basically saying that the infected only last for 2-months, but they’re still some that last for years. This sounds like the infection not only deteriorates the brain but maybe the body temperature is so high for so long that the body eventually burns out….?

The infected have a connection, kind of like the hive-mind situation in Stranger Things. In-game the infected would just spawn out of nowhere even if an area looks clear (it’s a game so that’s a normal thing), it seems that this was their way of bridging the gap of how a clear spot would suddenly become overrun. Games like TLOU and Left 4 Dead had what they call “event doors”, or pathways that when taken would suddenly trigger hordes

Clickers!!!! But seriously they did a good job with the acting during this scene, I’m wondering if they did a “zombie school” type thing, kind of like TWD.

“You can’t deny that view” - so glad they kept this, it’s such an important moment for Ellie because of [redacted]

So Tess name-dropping Frank is interesting, unless in-game Tess knew about Frank and just didn’t tell Joel (HIGHLY unlikely), because in-game Joel doesn’t even know Frank exists, let alone have any contact with him specifically

Annie Wersching does a really good job of capturing Tess’ nuances, and the part where she’s foreshadowing her infection by acting defensive? Love it

Tess/Joel’s relationship being kind of one-sided isn’t much of a surprise. I’d imagine Joel prefers not to get romantically close to people because of past trauma

So the hive-mind connections trigger a horde, forcing Tess to sacrifice herself. In the game the military shows up and she holds them off while Joel/Ellie escape through the capitol building. To me the horde makes more sense because I never quite understood why the military suddenly went on a field trip outside of the QZ to coordinate an attack on a couple runaways when they could easily have left them to their fate with the infected and not waste time/supplies (same thing applies if they were going after the Fireflies outside of the QZ)

I’m enjoying the unfocused camera shots of the infected, it helps to leave some things to the imagination and makes it more scary/intense

The mouth-tentacles “kiss of death” thing is weird. It’s like the infected are coherent enough to want to actively spread the infection instead of just eating people. I’m also getting the impression that, kind of like in World War Z, they can sense when someone else is infected.

Definitely enjoyed this episode, the acting was really good and the story is moving a bit faster now. Still a lot of ground to cover because of [redacted]

Endure and survive!

[ivankahasbeentreatedsounfairly]

By Maureen Dowd

Some Democrats are finally waking up and realizing that woke is broke.

Donald Trump won a majority of white women and remarkable numbers of Black and Latino voters and young men.

Democratic insiders thought people would vote for Kamala Harris, even if they didn’t like her, to get rid of Trump. But more people ended up voting for Trump, even though many didn’t like him, because they liked the Democratic Party less.

I have often talked about how my dad stayed up all night on the night Harry Truman was elected because he was so excited. And my brother stayed up all night the first time Trump was elected because he was so excited. And I felt that Democrats would never recover that kind of excitement until they could figure out why they had turned off so many working-class voters over the decades, and why they had developed such disdain toward their once loyal base.

Democratic candidates have often been avatars of elitism — Michael Dukakis, Al Gore, John Kerry, Hillary Clinton and second-term Barack Obama. The party embraced a worldview of hyper-political correctness, condescension and cancellation, and it supported diversity statements for job applicants and faculty lounge terminology like “Latinx,” and “BIPOC” (Black, Indigenous, People of Color).

This alienated half the country, or more. And the chaos and antisemitism at many college campuses certainly didn’t help.

“When the woke police come at you,” Rahm Emanuel told me, “you don’t even get your Miranda rights read to you.”

There were a lot of Democrats “barking,” people who “don’t represent anybody,” he said, and “the leadership of the party was intimidated.”

Donald Trump played to the irritation of many Americans disgusted at being regarded as insensitive for talking the way they’d always talked. At rallies, he referred to women as “beautiful” and then pretended to admonish himself, saying he’d get in trouble for using that word. He’d also call women “darling” and joke that he had to be careful because his political career could be at risk.

One thing that makes Democrats great is that they unabashedly support groups that have suffered from inequality. But they have to begin avoiding extreme policies that alienate many Americans who would otherwise be drawn to the party.

Democrats learned the hard way in this election that mothers care both about abortion rights and having their daughters compete fairly and safely on the playing field.

A revealing chart that ran in The Financial Times showed that white progressives hold views far to the left of the minorities they champion. White progressives think at higher rates than Hispanic and Black Americans that “racism is built into our society.” Many more Black and Hispanic Americans surveyed, compared with white progressives, responded that “America is the greatest country in the world.”

Gobsmacked Democrats have reacted to the wipeout in different ways. Some think Kamala did not court the left enough, touting trans rights and repudiating Israel.

Other Democrats feel the opposite, calling on the party to reimagine itself.

Marie Gluesenkamp Perez, a vulnerable Democrat in a red congressional district in Washington, narrowly held her seat. The 36-year-old mother of a toddler and owner of an auto shop told The Times’s Annie Karni that Democratic condescension has to go. “There’s not one weird trick that’s going to fix the Democratic Party,” she said. “It is going to take parents of young kids, people in rural communities, people in the trades running for office and being taken seriously.”

Representative Seth Moulton, a Massachusetts Democrat, said the party needs rebranding. “Democrats spend way too much time trying not to offend anyone,” he said. “I have two little girls. I don’t want them getting run over on a playing field by a male or formerly male athlete, but as a Democrat I’m supposed to be afraid to say that.”

On CNN, the Democratic strategist Julie Roginsky said that Democrats did not know how to talk to normal Americans.

Addressing Latinos as “Latinx” to be politically correct “makes them think that we don’t even live on the same planet as they do,” she said. “When we are too afraid to say that ‘Hey, college kids, if you’re trashing a campus of Columbia University because you aren’t happy about some sort of policy and you’re taking over a university and you’re trashing it and preventing other students from learning, that that is unacceptable.’ But we’re so worried about alienating one or another cohort in our coalition that we don’t know what to say.”

Kamala, a Democratic lawmaker told me, made the “colossal mistake” of running a billion-dollar campaign with celebrities like Beyoncé when many of the struggling working-class voters she wanted couldn’t even afford a ticket to a Beyoncé concert, much less a down payment on a home.

“I don’t think the average person said, ‘Kamala Harris gets what I’m going through,’” this Democrat said.

Kamala, who sprinted to the left in her 2020 Democratic primary campaign, tried to move toward the center for this election, making sure to say she’d shoot an intruder with her Glock. But it sounded tinny.

The Trump campaign’s most successful ad showed Kamala favoring tax-funded gender surgery for prisoners. Bill Clinton warned in vain that she should rebut it.

James Carville gave Kamala credit for not leaning into her gender and ethnicity. But he said the party had become enamored of “identitarianism” — a word he uses because he won’t say “woke” — radiating the repellent idea that “identity is more important than humanity.”

“We could never wash off the stench of it,” he said, calling “defund the police” “the three stupidest words in the English language.”

“It’s like when you get smoke on your clothes and you have to wash them again and again. Now people are running away from it like the devil runs away from holy water.”

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/11/09/opinion/democrats-identity-politics.html

[theteasetwrites]

I just finished watching twd’s final episode (ya i know im so late) aaand I totally agree with you. That episode was so rushed, everything happened so fast. As expected it was a total chaos.

I literally cried when Rosita died, I really wish it was Judith or RJ just to give Michone something to be guilty abt. Yaa I’m not a fan of Michonne and her leaving the kids to find Rick.

I loved the scene between Daryl and Carol in the end, it just showed how platonic their love for each other and nothing more people!

The explosion? UGHH.

The dinner after the explosion? Major cringe and very confusing, I mean not like they celebrated after the war with the Saviors? It just didn’t make sense.

And oh Maggie, my dearest. She deserves peace and happiness but I get her, if I were her I would’ve killed Annie so atleast we’re even.

Kinda disappointed. After 11 seasons we deserved a better ending. But hey, I am excited that Rick Grimes is back.

And yes, Daryl deserves a happy ending too. And thank goodness we have you to give him that! <3

Yeah it was very rushed, messy, lazy, and insulting. I mean it could've been a lot worse, but it could've been so much better if they had actually taken the time to make a good, well thought out last season instead of throwing in so many useless storylines. I mean the whole Reaper arc should've been thrown out. They could've used that time to delve into the Commonwealth stuff earlier. Also when they spent that whole episode in 11b focusing on Eugene trying to solve that mystery with Hornsby and Stephanie and all that shit... so ridiculous just give me 45 minutes of Daryl showering and I'll be happy

Anyway, Rosita dying was horrendously sad. I mean it was a beautiful death that was at least peaceful which is what she deserves, but it was still so sad. At least she died in the very last episode instead of in the middle of the series, so we got as much Rosita content as we could get.

I WISH JUDITH HAD DIED TOO HAHA. No fr what was the point of Judith getting shot if she wasn't going to die? Just to fuck with us? And to waste time? Seriously her getting shot was such a waste of time, it's insulting. She should've died and then it would at least have some payoff. But noooo they just had to do that stupid Carl/Rick parallel with Judith and Daryl. I rolled my eyes so hard man. It was just so lazy and they thought they were being so clever like ok get over urself besties

And you're so right, Michonne should feel guilty for leaving her kids! I mean tbh if Judith and RJ were my kids I'd probably abandon them too (not really lol) but yeah.

The Carol and Daryl scene was also pointless imo. I mean I guess it was cool if you like their friendship but I don't even think their friendship is that fun to watch lol so yeah. The "I love you" was definitely platonic but it read as more caryl baiting for the carylers.

That explosion was so ridiculous. How did they pull that off in a matter of a few hours? I was baffled. It was so weird and unrealistic lol. I mean I realize I am asking for realism in a show about zombies, but at some point realism is required for the show to make sense within the context, you know?

Everything was just way too convenient in that last episode. The explosion, Daryl just so happening to have the universal donor blood type (yeah fucking right), Judith surviving that gunshot wound, barely anyone in the main cast dying, everyone celebrating after destroying half the city and a ton of Commonwealth civilians dying... SUPER WEIRD.

Yeah the dinner was so cringey I'm sorry. It just felt so unearned and wrong. I mean they just faced a tragedy. Luke died hours ago and his group went from sobbing uncontrollably to laughing as they clink glasses at the dinner table like EXCUSE ME lmao. And once again, that huge explosion must've been super devastating to the structure of the city. How can the group be celebrating at a time like this? Also don't get me started on how EXHAUSTED they would've been after all of that, and yet they made a five course Thanksgiving meal in less than 24 hours after a really bad walker invasion??? And I know for a fact it was less than 24 hours later because Rosita was still alive and you can't live more than 24 hours with that fever from the bite. So stupid I'm sorry guys I wanna like it but I just can't.

MAGGIE SHOULD DEFINITELY KILL ANNIE HAHAHAHHAHAHAH

I totally agree my friend. Sorry for ranting but you made some great points that got me thinking about how irrationally mad I am at the finale lol. I just think it could've been so much better. And then after the one year time jump, it was way too saccharine and didn't match the tone of the rest of the episode or the season. I think that they still could've given them that happy ending without it being so colorful and bright and everyone smiling super big and idk it was just way too perfect and utopian looking. They could've done a way more nuanced thing that didn't make me feel as uncomfortable as it did lol. It was almost uncanny how saccharine the ending was.

Daryl is going to get the happiest ending of anyone in the series by the time I'm done with him in my series. He is gonna grow old with his wife and kids. He will know peace <3

[cowboycakes]

Hi! ur writing is incredible and i saw that requests were open and i just had to go for it. could you possible write a ReinerxFem! reader where she’s really seriously injured and tries to hide it from everyone, until she passes out in Reiner’s arms (cliche i’m sorry) and he’s just SO mad at himself for not noticing before and he’s so worried and he cares for the reader so much while she’s unconscious and after she wakes up? Just like so much fluff and angst and Reiner being a guilty fucker as he is but also like extremely protective and caring? Sorry it’s so specific. Thank you!🥺❤️

Thank you so much! I hope you enjoy this fluffy little piece!

Tender Loving Care 

Pairing: Reiner Braun x fem!Reader

Themes: Fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, Reiner’s guilty ass 

Warnings: Reader uses she/her pronouns, severe injury/blood and bleeding/recovery, fainting, hospital setting, profanity

Word Count: 1.5k

You stumble into the medical tent, plopping your sweaty body down on a cot. Dirt covered hands rummage through a med kit until they come across a bundle of white bandages. You form them tightly around your thigh, applying pressure that you hoped would stop the bleeding. You’d really messed up on the mission today, completely misfiring your ODM gear when the first titan came into view. Your legs hit a tree branch, hard. Nerves would often get the best of you like that.

And now you’re left with the consequence - a giant gash. The sight of it made you feel faint. Blood wouldn’t cease to seep through the mesh material surrounding your wound, even after rewrapping it a few times.

You pack some extra gauze into it before trying to stand up and go to find the rest of the group. Before you take your first step, the tent door flies open. 

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you! What’s wrong?” Reiner shouts, rushing over to your side. 

You secretly relished in the feeling of him worrying for you sometimes. 

This whole dynamic between the two of you began from a chance pairing in some training exercises. Reiner had played the cocky tough guy at first, trying to show off and take over every exercise the two of you were supposed to do together. This irritated you to no end, obviously. Your solution was to get under his skin: make him laugh, tease him and poke at him until that hard headed exterior of his cracked. With time, it eventually did, revealing a big softie who cared for you more than he’d like to admit. 

“Just me folding under pressure. The usual,” you sigh, taping your bandages down, “it’s just a scratch.”

“Don’t lie, let me see it,” he says gently, crouching down in front of you to inspect your injury. 

“No!” you laugh as you press a hand onto your bandage, “I’m perfectly fine! We need to get going, anyway.”

Reiner looks up to you, unimpressed. He could always see right through your fibs. You smile guiltily at him as he stands up. 

“I’m not convinced that’s just a scratch,” Reiner mumbles.

“Sure it is! Just watch,” you declare as you walk toward the exit. 

You couldn’t hide your limp. 

“Nope. Absolutely not,” Reiner interrupts. He stands in front of you and motions for you to get on his back. You sigh, but reluctantly climb on anyway. 

You loop your arms around his neck as he moves his hands to support your thighs, being extra careful around your injury. 

The pain wasn’t getting any duller, even though you weren’t trying to walk now. You lay your cheek down on Reiner’s shoulder as his big strides carried you toward the horse and cart that was set to take everyone back to headquarters. Your body goes limp on the short journey, feet dangling and heavy eyes closing. 

Reiner gently sets you down beside him whenever you two reach your ride. He instinctively puts a big arm around your sore shoulders, pulling your body in close to his warm chest. 

“That better just be a scratch, or you’re never gonna hear the end of it,” Reiner teases, squeezing your arm. 

You huff in response, closing your eyes again. 

The rest of the group eventually arrives at the cart - most of them as sweaty and beat up as you were. However, you were feeling weaker by the minute. 

“Woah, y/n, you ok? You look pale...” you hear Annie question as she boards the cart.

You look down to your leg, quick to cover it with your hands before Reiner could see. Blood had made its way through your bandaging again.

“Yeah, I’m just fine,” you laugh nervously, “thanks Annie.”

You weren’t fine. You were becoming increasingly lightheaded - feeling yourself break into a cold sweat as your breathing becomes shallow.

The cart eventually starts to move, its wooden wheels creaking as it makes its way over the bumpy path home. You try to focus on the scenery moving around you, but your vision is too blurred. 

The state of your body was now making you nervous. You decide to close your eyes and lean your head against Reiner’s chest, gripping a sweaty hand on the back of his shirt, trying to ground yourself.  He rubs his hand up and down your arm slowly in response, calming you down a bit.

“We’re almost home. I’ll get you feeling better once we’re there, ok?” Reiner says.

“Ok…” you smile, beginning to feel yourself fade in and out a bit.

The cart finally comes to a halt. Reiner stands up before you and helps your woozy legs to straighten with the support of his hand in yours. He steps off the wooden cart first, opening his arms up so he could pick you up again. 

“Reiner, I’m okay,” you say, letting go of his hand, “promise.”

You look down at the dusty ground from your position on the cart, now standing completely unassisted.

Ok, just a small step, right? Three feet at most. Just move your foot forward, out into the abyss below the cart. 

Suddenly, your vision is a mere tunnel, blackness encroaching rapidly from the outsides of your eyes. Your body is in free fall, no longer under control of your mind. 

The last thing you sense is a pair of big arms catching you princess style. 

••••••••

“Dammit!” Reiner hisses, turning fast on his heels toward the infirmary. He’s quick to dodge the other scouts walking away from the cart, moving as fast as he could while keeping your limp body still in his arms. 

I’m always so fucking oblivious. Why do I ever listen to her? Always trying so hard to make sure she’s not being a burden. Of course she was lying to me, why couldn’t I have just taken better care of her from the start?

He slides through the infirmary front doors, alerting some nurses behind the desk of your condition. He keeps you tight in his arms as they swiftly guide you to a room. You let out a little groan once he sets you down on the hospital cot. 

God dammit. This is all my fault. Damn I can’t stand to see her face like this, all tensed up - she must be in so much pain. Shit, I am not about to tear up right now. 

Nurses rush over to you, quick to put you on some fluids and start sewing up your leg. Your condition quickly stabilizes, allowing the nurses to give you some much needed time to sleep off your injuries. 

Reiner insisted on taking over the nurses' duties after that point. Big, gentle hands would change out your bandaging every so often, along with keeping cold rags on your head and holding your hand when looks of discomfort appeared on your face. In his mind, it was the least he could do to subdue his guilt - to make it up to you.

He sat there all night, a big nervous mess in the chair he pulled up next to you. He hated getting so emotional like this, especially around someone who he needed to believe he was invincible. Luckily for him, you were still sleeping like a baby, unaware of his concerns. 

You finally open your groggy eyes early in the morning - the sun hasn't even peaked over the horizon yet. Your unfocused gaze wanders to the side of the bed. 

There he is - his head sits in his hand as he stares out the dark window from his chair. His short blonde hair is disheveled, probably from nervous hands running through it all night. Dark circles encompass his upper cheeks. He clearly hadn’t slept a wink.

“Hey,” you whisper.

Reiner jumps a little bit from his daze, quickly turning to look at you. He lets out a long sigh of relief, wiping a hand down his tense face.

“You had me worried sick,” he grumbles. You hum in response, a sleepy smile accidentally forms across your cheeks.

He half-smiles back, studying the sweet look on your face, “I’m just glad you’re alright.”

“Did you sleep?” you question.

He blushes a little, “You don’t need to be worrying about me, y/n.”

You scoot over on your cot, pulling the sheets down to expose a little spot for him to lay. His eyes get wide, darting back and forth between you and the empty half of the bed a few times.

He gets up from his chair quietly and makes his way to your bed, sliding under the white sheets and placing his tired head on the pillow. You move in close, placing your head in the nook between his chest and his bicep. A muscular arm wraps around your waist as his head leans over to rest against yours.

The two of you lay together in the silence of the hospital, chests rising and falling at slowing rates. You felt completely at ease now, knowing all the lengths Reiner had gone to in order to keep you safe.

“You know, once I wake up,” he yawns, his words becoming slower and slower as sleep creeps over him, “you're never… gonna… hear… the end of it.”

[bruhstories]

Choke Me

Summary: Reiner can’t comprehend why you won’t have sex with him. You help him understand Pairing: Reiner Braun x Fem!Reader Warnings & Content: language, dom!Reader, sub!Reiner, oral sex (female receiving), whipping, unprotected sex, tied up Reiner Word Count: 1.7 k

A/N: You know what, I'm thriving off of sub!Reiner.

It absolutely baffled Reiner how someone like Annie was such good friends with someone like... you. He didn't mean it in a bad way, it was just too strange that the two of you were so close, yet complete opposites of each other. Annie was a tomboy, silent and calculating, you were dressed in pink from head to toe, loud and outgoing and just so adorable. And you completely ransacked his heart. Reiner was utterly in love with you, and you knew it. So, when he mustered up the courage to ask you out, it did not come as a surprise. In fact, you too crushed on him, and every time you were at their place, your eyes drifted to him, always, all the time. The two of you clicked instantly as a couple, and Reiner could only wonder how on Earth were you single until him, going so far as to asking Annie about your love life and with widened eyes, she hastily dismissed him. See, the thing was that you, despite your bubbly and juvenile personality, were a sick, sadistic dominatrix, and boys were terrified of that. While you usually donned clothing in pastels, flowy dresses and chiffon blouses, half of your closet was filled with garters, suspender belts, corsets, some in the deepest shades of red, others black, materials varying from lace to latex. Whenever you had a guy over and pulled out whips, riding crops or ball gags, they would disappear from the face of the Earth, never evercalling you back. Annie knew this about you but never judged. To each their own, she would say, not exactly caring about your kinks. But she wouldn't know how Reiner would react to that, and while intrigued to find out, she didn't want you two to break up either. Deep down she cared about all of her friends, despite the aloof attitude.

Three months into your relationship, you still politely declined Reiner's offers to have sex. He was incredibly sweet, treating you like a princess, and in return you were supportive and caring, but fearing that he, too, might run away after learning about your kinks, you kept finding excuses to deny him. At one point he even asked you if you have some sort of STD, genuinely concerned but promising to still be with you no matter what. You promised you were clean, but that only made him more curious as to why you wouldn't have him. 'You're not attracted to me?' or 'Am I doing something wrong?' were his usual questions and your heart broke in thousands of pieces each time you refused him. He seemed like the kind of man who dominated in bed, and while you were inclined to switch it out sometimes, you always, always had to have it your way the first time you fucked a guy.

Eventually Reiner couldn't take it anymore. He called you, begged you to explain yourself to him and you ceased to try and keep him away from the carnal pleasure you both desired. You invited him over, offering to cook dinner and disclose what you had managed to hide for so long. He popped at your door with a bouquet of daffodils, matching the honey-yellow apron tied around your waist, his eyes were needy and woeful, still believing it's his fault that you two haven't had sex yet. He kissed you on the lips, starving for more, but you pulled back, opting to discuss things first.

"So," you began, legs crossed under the table and anxiously swirling spaghetti with your fork, "I... shit, I don't even know how to say it."

"Y/N, whatever it is, I promise it won't change what I feel for you." Reiner caressed your cheek so gently that you felt sorry for dragging him into this.

"I think it's best if I show you." You got up, took hold of his hand and guided him into your bedroom. The chamber perfectly reflected your personality, with garlands and fairy lights hanging from the ceiling, doodles and drawings taped to the walls and stuffed toys bundled up on your baby blue bedsheets. "You better sit down for this, babe."

"Jesus, how bad can it be?"

With a sigh, you swung open the closet door, revealing the strangest of sex toys, erotic lingerie and high heeled footwear. Reiner erupted into laughter, throwing himself on your bed and holding his abdomen.

"Why exactly are you laughing?" Your voice was serious, dangerous almost, your body lacking a reaction.

"You're telling me you didn't wanna have sex because, what? You're into BDSM?"

"I don't think you get it, Reiner. I'm not just into it, I like dominating men." You frowned, taken aback by his attitude. He perked his ears up and sat up, suddenly attentive, his gaze locking with yours.

"Do you want to dominate me?" The blond asked, unsure of what it would feel like, but inquisitive to try.

"If you'll let me, yes." You bit your lip, fingers smoothing the apron.

"Fuck it, if it makes you happy, I'll let you do whatever you want to me." Reiner declared, palms on his knees. "Do I need a safe word?"

"Not tonight, I'll go easy on you." You beamed, eyes glistening with so much joy and he almost regretted his decision.

Almost.

Tied up, naked and helpless, Reiner could only watch how you strutted into the bedroom, latex corset around your waist, tits out, riding crop in hand.

"Shit, you look so-" crack.

The thin object met with his cheek and he groaned in pain, confusion written all over his face.

"You speak when I allow it, understood?" And he nodded desperately. "Good boy. Maybe if you behave, I'll reward you."

It was then when Reiner realised how easily his dick hardened when he submitted. It was then when he realised how much he loved you.

You dragged the crop across his body, goosebumps all over his skin, before you propped one foot on the bed, spreading your legs and exposing your wet cunt to him. You could've sworn you saw his pupils dilating when your fingers barely touched the slick slit.

"You want this, Reiner?"

"Yes!" The man almost cried out, licking his lips. Crack. Another hit, this time over his thigh and he whimpered — the sound was music to your ears.

"Yes what?"

"Yes, please!"

"That's better." You hummed, slightly spreading your folds, foot still on the bed. Your middle finger rubbed around your clit, a quiet moan escaping your lips. "Tell me how much you want it!"

Pulling at his restraints, Reiner sighed. Never has he felt so overpowered, but the pleasure he took from it was slowly seeping in his brain, clouding his judgment.

"I need you, Y/N. I need to feel you so bad, please!"

"You gotta earn it first." Voice aggressive yet seductive, you climbed on top of him, feet at the sides of his head. "Lick it good and I'll reward you. Do a bad job and I'll punish you." And before he could utter a word you were straddling his face. His tongue sloppily licked everything it could, in or around your cunt, and you forcefully grabbed the metallic bedframe with one hand, your other one fondling your soft tits. Your moans echoed in the room as you moved your hips for more friction, your breath hitching, his cock twitching. "Atta boy!" You groaned and slid off of him.

"Did I do well?" Reiner asked, hope glistening in his eyes.

"Very well." You snickered and pressed your lips onto his to taste yourself in a sinful kiss.

"Can I get my reward?" The man asked after you pulled away, a mixture of saliva and slickness at the corners of your mouth.

"Oh, I don't know..." You scrunched your nose.

"Please, Y/N! I've been good, I- I need you around my dick, please!" He begged, not even caring how desperate he sounded and that only made you feel like a goddess. You picked up the riding crop and dragged it up and down his shaft, terror in his eyes.

"I wonder how much it would hurt." You mused, head tilted and mischief in your voice.

"No, no, you said it was good! Please don't punish me-"

"Oh, don't be stupid." You rolled your eyes, climbing back on top of him. "I need that dick as much as you do." And with that, your hand helped push his cock in between your folds, painstakingly slowly taking it all in. "Fuck, you're big."

The sound of skin against skin tickled your brain, your hips moving up and down, your cunt clenching around his throbbing member.

"Please..." Reiner groaned.

"Please what?" You threw your head back, the pressure forming in your core making you moan louder.

"Please choke me!" He asked and you almost stopped moving, taken aback by his request.

"I'm beginning to think you like being dominated, love." You grinned, your fingers lightly squeezing his neck.

"God, you're so tight!" The man bucked his hips, the unexpected thrust earning a whimper out of you. "Harder, choke me harder!"

"Fuck, Reiner!" The grip around his neck tightened and your moves became frantic, animalistic. "You like that? You like the way I fuck you?"

"Mhm!" He eagerly nodded, unable to speak.

"Look at you, so small and pathetic." You panted, feeling your climax close and his cock pulsating. "Oh, are you gonna come? Go on, do it, come for me!" You cried out, legs violently quaking as the sticky hot liquid dripped out of your folds, down his shaft. For a moment neither of you moved. You looked at Reiner through strands of Y/H/C that draped over your face, beads of sweat glistening on your forehead. Your hands extended and you untied the ropes around his wrists, falling next to your boyfriend on the mattress, cum leaking out of your cunt.

"Do you still... love me?" You whispered, your voice shy, completely different to the woman you were five seconds ago.

"Babe, of course! And to be fair, it was so hot submitting to you." Reiner pulled you to his chest, fingers brushing your cheek. "Say, think we can switch it up next time?"

"Nope!" You smiled and rested your forehead on his shoulder.

"Eh, at least I tried." The man shrugged. "In all seriousness, though, don't hide things like these from me. If this is what you like then I respect that, Y/N."

Your heart fluttered in your chest. Most boys ran, but Reiner was a man, and he was clearly going to stay.

"Maaaaybe we can switch next time. But only if you behave!"

"Yes, ma'am!"

[colossal-fallout]

@cursedranger121​ asks;  Mikasa x Male Bodied Reader modern setting. MBR Mikasa at a party. I'll let you pick kinks used, but any possessive elements from Mikasa in it would just be *chefs kiss* perfection.

Male Reader X Mikasa Ackerman - Modern AU 

AN: Sorry if this seems a little rushed. I was half way through earlier and Tumblr decided not to save the draft. It’s not the first time it’s happened either... sigh. 

Warnings: NSFW. 18+ Orgasm denial. Smut. Alcohol consumption. Slight possessiveness. 

Your stomach flutters and churns with eagerness and excitement as you pull up to the booming house, the siren call of a night of fun and debauchery calling your name.  

As you step out of the cab, your name is already called over the music from the people spilled out onto the lawn. You turn your head to see Eren and Jean standing with a beer in hand, raising them at you in a greeting. You begin to walk towards your friends as the cab makes its way back down the long, isolated country lane. Historia’s house is ideal for parties. It’s nestled within the middle of nowhere. No one is to be disturbed and the chance of someone calling the cops for a noise complaint is minimal.  

“What took you so long?” Jean asks before putting the glass bottle to his lips.  

“Work.” You sigh, gladly taking a fresh bottle Eren hands you.

The hiss of the suds is like music to your ears as you finally get to have fun with your friends after a long week. You relish the bubbles and foam that dance on your tongue with a bitter tang, the sound of laughter from within the house already lifting your spirits to a higher place.  

Your attention is pulled when Historia calls your name in a greeting and a wave from the porch as she keeps her farmhand boyfriend company as he sparks up a cigarette.  

The three of you slink over and exchange greetings - Sasha's booming laugh ringing from somewhere inside the house.  

"Mikasa's been looking for you." Historia mutters as Jean and Eren head inside.

Your cock twitches in a hopeful flutter at those words. Your eyebrow arcs as you shrug it off casually.

You and Mikasa had been chatting over the months. You'd even went on a date which had to be cut short because work had called you in. You were sure she'd lost interest until Historia lets out a small giggle.  

"She's been looking forward to you coming."

Maybe you still do have a chance?  

Tampering down your eagerness you nod in thanks for that titbit of information as you follow your best friends into the interior of the Hallway.  

Your memories decided to remind you of the moments your eyes had accidentally rested upon her beautiful chest during a conversation or her peachy ass as you headed up the stairs on your date. Her soft skin, her scent... It drove you wild. Those sweet lips and October sky blues along with that adorable little blush she hued whenever you stared a little too long... you were more than happy to see her again.

An hour went by in the blink of an eye as you caught up with your friends and let loose. Mikasa was indeed happy to see you, greeting you with a warm hug and her smile was evident from across the room. You tried to ignore the sly nudging's from Eren’s elbow and the envious pout from Jean as you chatted with the raven-haired beauty.  

At one point, you were about to take a swig of your drink when Annie purposefully knocked herself into you, your suds soaking the front of your shirt.  

“Ah, shit.” You sigh. “What was that for?”  

“Oh, lighten up.” She beams.  

The pink hue across her cheeks showed she was either drunk or just blushing at your presence; which you seriously doubted.  

“How have you been?” She then asks casually, as if you weren’t now patting your chest dry with your hand fruitlessly.  

“Good thanks. Yourself?”  

Before she can even reply you flinch at the surprisingly soft touch of someone snaking their arm around your waist, followed by a familiar scent.  

“Hey.” Mikasa smiles, giving you a little squeeze.  

Annie’s eyes roll. “Do you mind? We’re kinda in the middle of a conversation.”  

All your mind can focus on in your touch starved state is the feeling of Mikasa’s chest pressing against your arm.  

“Yeah, I do mind.” Mikasa smiles in reply. “He’s with me tonight. Okay?”  

Annie shakes her head and walks away, muttering. “Whatever. Not worth my time anyway.”

The raven-haired beauty pushes her nose against yours, her eyes crossing as they focus on your orbs. “You’re all wet. Come on, let’s get you more comfortable.” She laces her fingers within yours before leading you up the stairs, the building still vibrating under your feet from the thumping music.  

You were expecting her to take you to the bathroom to get dried up. But she’s taken you to one of the spare bedrooms, locking the door behind you and guiding you to sit on the bed. A cool and welcomed breeze rolls over you from the open window, the light drapes floating in the updraft. You weren’t sure why you were focusing on that. Maybe you were nervous, as Mikasa begins to unbutton your wet shirt.  

“We’ll hang it to dry…” she whispers, her eyes enlarging as more of your skin becomes revealed to her. You couldn’t identify why just yet, but as her face came close to yours, all you could think about was that beautiful draft from the damn window. Your head snaps away from hers as she pushes the material down your arms.  

Your mouth becomes dry as her now heavy lidded ocean blues close the gap between you.  

“Mikasa… how much have you had to drink?” you mutter, realizing it was your conscience preventing you to enjoy the moment.  

An etch of crimson sketches across her nose as she shyly glances away. “You’re so sweet. Don’t worry. I’ve only had two drinks all night.”

Her hands then slide up your chest to your shoulders, her slender fingers brushing up and circling your back. “Don’t you want me?”  

Of course, you do.  

You gaze down into her eyes, hopeful with a bittersweet undertone of a fear of rejection. As if you would.  

“YEE YEE!”  

Your heads snap to the window as the sounds of Connie and Sasha heading out into the back yard for air carries up on the breeze above the muffled booms of the bass.  

You both let out a small laugh. You adored your crazy friends.  

Knowing she wasn’t intoxicated; your confidence returns - your hands running through her hair as you firmly pull her gaze to yours.  

“I want you too. You’re so beautiful…”  

Her blush deepens as you press your lips against hers, a small moan already emitting from her throat. By the sounds of it, she’d wanted you for a while now.  

You’re not sure how long you’d made out with her for. You’d pulled her down to lie next to you, your hands palming her breasts, her hair and shape. But however long you had been, she was a flustered mess – her hair dishevelled and face deep red as your lips trail down her neck, leaving sucks and nips, her skin darkening as you mark her.  You could tell she was becoming desperate for more as her hips begin to absent mindedly grind on your thigh, her sex desperate for some friction from you. Your own throbbing cock was an indication of your own yearning as you sit up slightly, pushing her onto her back. Your hands fumble her shirt, quickly removing it - her breasts spilling out pulling out an unintentional groan from your depths of perversion.  

“Fuck...” You gasp at the sight of her squirming under you.  

Your cock is pulsing, begging to be inside of her as you pull down her pants and sighing as the scent of her arousal rolls down with the material. Her pussy is small and pink, neat and gleaming as if weeping for you to touch it.  

Your hands harshly  

Grab the underside of her thighs, pushing her knees to her chest as you begin to sensually kiss her fluttering slit.  

“Ah~!” She gasps, her chest pushing up and her grip tightening on the sheets beneath her.  

Her taste is like copper with a nice, sweet aftertaste, your finger stroking and teasing her entrance as your tongue harshly bats against her clit. Her eyes clamp close as her entire body tenses and trembles, the ignition of your act lighting up the kerosene of her yearning for you.  

You push your finger inside of her, followed by a second before you curl them and beckon at her g-spot as she melts into the palm of your hand in gasps and moans. You can’t actually believe you finally have Mikasa like this, the most vulnerable a person could be as you massage her insides with the pads of your fingers, building her orgasm from the very foundation, each wiggle, each stroke making her more and more hysteric, your name now leaving her parted lips.  

“Do my fingers feel good inside you? Huh?” You breathe onto her slit, her head bobbing in confirmation.  

You return to her nub; flicking and licking, your pace quickening as her wetness starts to splash around onto your wrist, her insides beginning to spasm erratically.  

“Ah, I'm... going to...” She whines, almost shy and embarrassed you were about to see her come undone.  

You slow your pace to a painfully gentle rhythm. “Hold back for me baby... wait for me.”  

Her hands run through her hair as you pull out your cock that’s been begging to be freed for some time now. You grab the base of the shaft, prodding your swollen head at her hole.  

“You ready for me?” You pant.  

“Yes!” She sobs.  

With a long push, you groan loudly as her warm insides embrace your entirety. Each bump and ridge rub you in the exact right way as you slide inside, her walls assisting your movement and pulling you in as she sighs deeply, her nails digging into your arms as you hover over her.  

“Shi~~t...” You hiss. “God, you feel so good.”  

Once you’re at the hilt, you lower yourself to her neck hiding your head into the crook while you begin to slowly dip your hips in and out of her, your moans muffled as you bite and kiss her neck and earlobe whispering all sorts of things. Anything your mind musters up about her.  

“You’re so tight...”  

“Oh baby... fuck... it’s too good...”  

Each slow drag of you, her volume and desperation increase slightly, the wet sounds of her cunt sucking you and pushing you are turning you onto another level while her nails sink into your back, your name leaving her over and over.  

“Please, don’t stop...” She begs, her eyes watering from the intensity of pleasure.  

You rut a little faster, caressing her hair as your cock begins to throb with more violence, the deep feeling in your stomach telling you that your time is almost there.  

“Cum for me...” You whisper. “Let me hear that pretty moan as you cum around me...”  

“y/n... oh my god...” Her walls tighten and clamp you in place as you push her over the edge, her silent scream beyond human perception as your rhythm falters, your thick cream spilling out inside of her as you both unravel into the ether.  

[feralaot]

random warriors hcs!

my brain is rotting out of my ears. I love the warriors so much have some headcanons

no warnings

reiner

total blanket hog. rolls himself up into a burrito while he sleeps and sometimes struggles to get out of it when he wakes up

the type to yell when he yawns and goes "SHIT" afterwards

he doesn't play sports himself but he would like watching them, especially ice hockey

is really good with his hands and makes little crafts for his friends

season 1 reiner would say "saturdays are for the boys"

doesn't understand some of the kids' slang and has to have it explained to him by people more with The Times(tm)

"bertl what's a poggers".mp3

bertholdt

doesn't know how to convey emotions sometimes so he shows affection through physical contact

really likes birds and always points them out to his friends then proceeds to identify the species and talk about it

likes writing his own little stories and drawing things. only reiner knows this and is v supportive

legally cannot say fuck

has Motherly Tendencies(tm) e.g. will patch up the kiddos and lecture them about being more careful

however sometimes he just doesn't care

e.g. he's told that reiner is passed out in a bush somewhere and he just goes "boys will be boys I guess"

annie

is good at singing but does it in front of absolutely nobody. maybe armin though <3

talks MAJOR shit, then she sneezes, which is pretty much just a squeak, and all of a sudden nobody takes her seriously

people pick her up all the time. what is it about being short that makes people want to pick you up

that being said she can pick up literally anyone. had a bet with reiner that she could lift him and he was like lmao sure then got FLUNG

doesn't really know how to braid her own hair so she practices on armin

she likes painting as well and has a bunch of her own artwork hanging up because she's proud of them :)

randomly tells people to shut tf up even if they aren't talking

porco

will literally never admit this to anyone other than pieck but he does yoga. is surprisingly flexible. his joints sound like glowsticks though

he’s naturally blonde

likes history and goes bonkers over historical inaccuracies in films

really really bad at reading the room and will often use a tone of voice inappropriate for the situation

he's so so cocky and stubborn but one (1) compliment and he's taken tf out

frequently rubs his hands on his jacket or pants because they're always clammy

little bit of a god complex

pieck

"poggers"

she would probably meow at people

absolutely horrendous balance. tried to do yoga with porco one time and he just watched as she toppled over repeatedly. blames it on being quadrupedal most of the time

offers piggyback rides to the kids. they absolutely love it

"you good? your vibes are off"

got porco into true crime and they watch it together constantly

she's really good at math and already likes kids so she would help them with their work

zeke

he's the kind of person to stand at the gas station next to his car and stare people tf down while eating a hot dog.

highly judgmental, for that matter

he just absolutely LOVES subtly messing with people. one time he kept adding condiment packets into one of reiner's pockets until he noticed. the final amount was ungodly

who the hell needs this much mustard.jpg

would respond to "go fuck yourself" with "fuck me yourself you coward"

similarly he would respond to "you know what they say" with "I'm afraid I do not" even if he does, infact, know what they say

most of the time people genuinely can't tell if he's being sarcastic or not and he probably doesn't know either

[bcdwhcre]

Hey! Can you do a scenario for AOT with Mikasa, Sasha, and Annie’s S/O gets seriously injured during a fight with some titans? Whether the reader survives or not can be up to you. I love how you write for the AOT characters haha

“Battles,” Mikasa x Sasha x Annie Headcanons

Couldnt find a gif with all 3 of them. SAD

Summary: Being with one of the girls and you get injured in battle

Warnings: none, no spoilers

Also pls don’t comment any spoilers and be considerate of others thank you <3

.

.

.

Mikasa:

You weren’t supposed to be on this expedition but Mikasa had convinced the Captain to let you tag along, knowing how much of use you would be which was true.

You were pretty good at your job and you were well known for your skills so it wasn’t a hard decision for Levi to accept the offer of you being on his team and coming along with them.

But you were way over your head. You were thinking the capture of Bertholdt and Reiner would be simple, easy, won’t have to do much but you were far from right.

As the both of them transformed into their Titan forms, you had tried your best to take Reiner down- going to far lengths and risking your life completely. He needed to be down, no matter the cost and you knew what you needed to do.

As you swung and flipped in the air, shooting the gear to shoot into the wall, helping you fly up higher up to the back of Reiner’s neck, trying to be quick to swipe your sword through his thick skin but he had seen you from a mile away.

He moved his hand up, swinging it across the air and knocking you back quite hard, making it difficult to move and dodge the attack. You were thrown across the sky, your gear crushed and too jammed to shoot a hook up and the impact of his armor had almost instantly knocked you unconscious.

Mikasa had seen everything unfold before her very eyes, panic running through her veins as she tried to fly towards you and was trying to be fast enough to catch you midair but you were flying at high speed.

You finally landed on the hard ground, sliding against the cement and the impact of your head hitting the ground had killed you in seconds. There was no way for you to survive the landing, it was too hard, too fast. You were like a bug smashing on the ground.

She didn’t want to believe that the impact had killed you, she knew how strong you were, you could survive, you could make it out of this with some broken bones.

As her feet landed on the ground, the sight of your body on the ground, frozen still. She kneeled down beside you, wanting to hold back her emotions, she hated to show her true feelings but seeing someone she considered her soul mate laying before her dead, her tears were threatening to fall from her eyes.

“Y/N,” She whispered more to herself, her hands reaching down to pick you up and hold you in her arms, sighing to herself.

The guilt and blame had washed over her quickly. It was her fault you were out here risking your life, she shouldn’t have pressured you to come but she had confidence that you would be the one to end this fight once and for all.

A few tears had slipped down her cheeks, shaking her head as the anger boiled inside of her. She was going to make him pay for this, she was going to kill him with her bare hands no matter what.

She didn’t know what to do, she didn’t want to leave your dead body here and she didn’t want to leave you behind but what more could she do? Carry you around while everyone is fighting for their lives? She grunted, walking inside one of the broken down house and laid you on the floor.

She had taken her jacket off, looking down at you one last time, not knowing if she’ll be able to come back and collect your body for a proper burial. Her heart was broken, it pained her to see you like this but she needed to keep herself together- for the others.

“I’ll be back for you, I promise.” She mumbled, laying her jacket over your face after she had planted a single kiss to your forehead before returning back to the fight.

.

.

Sasha:

The scouts were doing a short expedition that shouldn’t be of much trouble, it was just to explore boundaries and figure out future plans that needed to be set.

But randomly a crowd of titans had showed up unexpectedly. You were told that not many would be out and this would be an easy mission to get through before going home but you knew by the large crowd, you weren’t going home anytime soon.

You glanced over at Sasha, a look of panic written on her face and as you both stood high up on the tree, you reached over to grab a hold of her hand to reassure her that everything would be alright.

“Don’t panic, I’m sure this would be a breeze.” You said confidently and she gave you a weak smile, squeezing onto your hand.

“Just don’t die on me.” She said sarcastically, moving her feet to stand closer to you as the both of you looked down at the Titans that were only getting closer.

“Same goes for you.” She laughed at your words, feeling much better about the situation and before she leaped off the tree, she had given you one last smile and blew you a kiss.

You had watched her swing along the trees, you were in complete awe with how talented she actually is with the gear and being able to take down some Titans no problem.

But once you heard the others swing down, you had snapped back into reality and jumped off the tree branch, feeling the wind gush up against your face before you had shot the wire into the tree and swung up in the air.

It wasn’t hard to take down most of them but once you heard there were more problems deep inside of the woods, something the scouts weren’t aware of except for Levi’s team and Eren himself.

You had taken it in your own hands and risked going deeper to be of some help since the Titans were under control near the edge of the woods. But once you made it towards the middle, you instantly regretted your decision as your eyes stared up at the female titan.

“Y/N, you need to go back!” You heard Eren shout towards you as all of Levi’s team laid out around you dead.

Everything was spinning, you head was spinning and you felt lightheaded but the look of determination on the female Titans face as she stared down at Eren, it clicked in your mind that he was first priority. Levi would want you to protect him.

“Eren just ride to the others, I’ll distract her.”

“But you’ll die just like them!”

“As long as you have time to run away, I’m fine with that just go.” You looked at him, nodding your head and watched him ride away through the woods.

Before she could try to run after him, you flew up and sliced through the skin on her ankles which somewhat prevented her from running right away. You just needed to give Eren a few minutes, that’s it. Nothing else mattered but his safety.

It wasn’t long till Levi had swung in and tried to help you and at first it was working until one wrong turn and the female titan had grabbed onto the wire that was attached to your gear.

She had spun around, dragging you by the wire and let go to watch you fly pass the trees and eventually hitting one pretty hard. Instantly you can feel a few of your bones break at the impact, making you fall to the ground in pain.

She didn’t even bother trying to finish you off, her mind was set on Eren and she quickly ran away. Levi landed in front of you, looking down at you state and cursed under his breath, he could tell you weren’t going to be able to stand on your own.

“Just go, I’ll be fine.” You groaned, wiping the blood from your mouth and his eyes had stared into yours, deciding whether or not he should actually leave you here and he did after saying he’ll have someone come back for you.

But while you sat up against the tree, having a hard time breathing properly, you could hear a familiar voice yelling in the distance calling for you. You had tried to move but everything hurt too much, making you sit still.

You finally saw Sasha come in view, her eyes landed on you and they grew wide as she quickly jumped off her horse and ran to where you were. She started to panic at the way you were covered in blood and she could tell a few bones were noticeably broken.

“Are you okay? Can you stand?” She asked, looking down at your legs and reached down to try to grab a hold of you.

“Sasha..” You barely said loud enough at first but she continued to try to lift you up and hold your body up.

“Sasha just leave me here, I’ll only slow you down.” You spoke louder, the pain unbearable and you could feel it take over your entire body.

“What? No!” She yelled at you, practically carrying you to her horse and tried her best to put you on top of it, almost failing but she managed to do it.

“Don’t ever tell me to leave you, are you crazy?” She scoffed, jumping on behind you and made sure you were leaned back comfortably against her chest as she rode through the woods.

Your eyes moved to look up at her, a small weak smile coming across your lips as you tried to wipe the blood leaking down your face as it tickled your skin. You couldn’t help the pain shoot through your body but you were also glad you were alive to be with Sasha just a bit longer.

“I love you.” You mumbled up to her, making her eyes shoot down to meet yours and she couldn’t help but laugh quietly, her heart racing.

She was grateful she even made it in time and that you were still breathing, she wouldn’t know how to live if she came a little too late.

.

.

Annie:

(this one is gonna hurt a lil)

When Annie had started her mission to bring information back to Marley, she didn’t expect herself to fall for one of the Scouts that she went through the training corps with.

She always tried to stay away, keep her distance and do what she needed to do but you were always persistent and always got on her nerves which you enjoyed doing.

After a while, you grew on her more and more and eventually it turned into a little fling. She didn’t want to admit that she considered you two a couple and she also didn’t want to go too deep about feelings or go forward with asking you out.

So instead it was an unsaid thing between you two.

After a while, Reiner had caught on to the fling she had with you and he could see how much it distracted her from her mission and the reason why she was here.

He had tried to slap some sense into her and even threatened her on many occasions, nothing ever worked but nothing can scare Annie so easily. But she knew if Reiner had even tried to lay a finger on you, he was dead.

But during one of the expeditions you were called on after the Armor titan had kicked another hole into the second wall, you were there to try to save as many civilians as possible but Reiner had another plan in mind.

He had somehow gotten you alone during the mission, asking for some help but he was lying, his plan to get you killed by a titan was on the top of his head, he needed to do it for Annie’s sake.

“I heard there’s more civilians over here, needed some help to collect them.” Reiner said to you, making you nod your head and follow him.

Until he purposely jammed up your gear, forcing you to stumble down on the ground at the perfect place and time- a titan stumbling along towards the both of you.

“Reiner, what the fuck?” You shouted up at him, your eyebrows furrowing together and you slid your blade back out.

“No hard feelings.” He said, staring down at you from the rooftop.

He had watched the titan stumble closer to you and it didn’t take long for it to eventually catch up to you and without your gear, it was no use, you were dead.

The titan had easily bitten down onto your leg, ripping it clean off and doing the same with your arm, making you practically bleed to death as you screamed with agony, the last thoughts in your head was of Annie.

She had swung through the air, looking around for you when she hasn’t seen you in a long period of time which was unusual, your team was stationed not too far from hers- she would’ve seen you by now.

She had an awful feeling in the back of her head, like something bad was gonna happen. And she believed it when she had seen Reiner with you.

“What’s going on here?” She said, walking up behind the both of you but you were laid out on the ground.

Her eyes had went wide, seeing your body on the ground- half eaten.

“I tried to save them but I was too late.” Reiner lied through his teeth as her body shook with anger, she didn’t believe one word from his mouth.

“You did this, didn’t you? You forced a titan to capture Y/N.” She mumbled, her skin growing hot as her hand gripped the sword and she glared up at him.

“Maybe they’re just not that good as they seem.”

Annie swung her fist, punching him straight in the jaw and watched him stumble back on the roof, almost falling over and Bertholdt had landed behind them, stepping in the middle.

“Hey, stop it!” He yelled, making her eyes glare at him as well before her full attention landed on you.

She sighed under her breath, she should’ve known this would happen. She wasn’t meant to be tied down because every time it happened, it ended badly. Maybe she was bad luck.

She kneeled down to pick up your body, wanting to scream, maybe even transform and kill the both of them for doing this to you. Most of all, she wanted to cry and she was never good at expressing emotions. She never cried, never smiled but when she was around you- it was different- she felt every emotion.

“I’m so sorry.” Annie mumbled, her eyes staring down at you and her heart felt empty again.

It was empty before you then you filled it up with such love and happiness and now she was back to being empty, back to feeling alone and angry. She wished she didn’t put you through this, such pain and suffering just by being with her. She felt guilt and she just wished she could have saved you and protected you.

“I’m sorry.”

.

.

Annie’s is kinda short but I tried😳

• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

[valleydean]

Wild West City

Deancas, word count: 1,070 Summary: Cas and Dean take their children, Claire and Jack, to a Wild West theme park. It’s the best day of Dean’s life. Happy birthday, Chayya! @sweatercas

“Daddy, I wanna go on the ponies again!” Jack squealed, nearly flinging himself out of Castiel’s arms in his excitement.

“No way,” Claire argued. “We’re going on the train ride next!”​ She was clutching Dean’s hand so as to not be swept up in the crowd around them. Dean was very seriously scrutinizing the map in the theme park’s brochure in his other hand.

That bright summer morning, they’d woken up earlier than Castiel would have liked to drive two hours north to Sussex County, New Jersey’s Wild West City: a quaint and modest tourist attraction, if it could even be called such a thing, that was supposedly an exact replica of Dodge City, KS in the 1800s. (Though, how they knew that, Castiel had no idea.) Over the winter, Dean had heard about the park from another parent at one of the school’s PTA meetings. He went home and reserved tickets, four months in advance, and hadn’t stopped talking about it since.

Castiel suspected Dean was even more excited than the kids were.

And, finally, there they stood, on a boardwalk in front of a dining hall called the Golden Nugget Saloon, which boasted all the best meals the Wild West’s had to offer - like mozzarella sticks and pizza.

Jack and Claire were both donned in button-down cow print shirts, jeans, cowboy boots, mini-wool hats, and bright red bandanas which were tied around their necks. Dean was in a similarly themed attire, but his boots were much more expensive. His western-style shirt was black with metal collar tips, and he was wearing a bolo tie in the shape of a longhorn skull.

And then there was his cowboy hat.

That hat. He’d had it for years. Castiel wasn’t used to seeing it outside the bedroom. He should have known Dean would have found any excuse to wear it.

As for himself, he’d blatantly refused wasting money on attire he’d never wear again, but Dean did convince him to put on a “straw” hat from the costume shop in town. It was something he regretted, because the cheap plastic mixed with the heat of the day was making his head itch.

The things he did for love.

So far, they’d seen three shows that had taken place on the bleached-dirt street in between the rows of souvenir shops and museums: a gunslinger show, where two actors had a typical Hollywood-style shootout; a cowboy competition, in which a group of men and women lassoed horses; and a stagecoach hold up. The last was admittedly entertaining because Jack was chosen to participate as one of the “heroes” alongside the town “sheriff” in stopping the robbery, and Castiel took nearly three dozen photos of it with his phone. They’d also gone to the petting zoo, where there was a pig named Annie Oinkley, and the Native American museum in an attempt on Castiel’s part to have the children learn something. All that, plus the aforementioned pony rides.

There was, apparently, still plenty to do.

“Relax, we’ll get to all that good stuff,” Dean promised. He crudely folded the map back up with one hand and shoved it into his pocket. He had his game plan face on when his eyes met Castiel’s. “I figure next we can head over the jailhouse to get our photos taken in costume while most people are still eating lunch. Then we can hit up the blacksmith, and we’ll still have plenty of time before the Gunfight at the OK Corral.”

Castiel’s frown deepened. “That didn’t happen in Dodge City. It was in Tombstone.” He only knew that because Dean had made him watch the movie approximately a hundred times during the course of their marriage.

Dean pulled a noncommittal face and shrugged. “Close enough.” This, coming from the man who vehemently avoided the Doc Holliday museum because it had more to do with Old West medical science than dentistry, and Dean refused to take part in such gross misinformation.

Jack began wiggling in Castiel’s hold again, so Castiel set him down. He immediately went to Claire and grabbed her hand, tugging at her. “C’mon, let’s go to jail!” he said happily. The two scampered off in that direction. Castiel couldn’t help but smile fondly after them.

“Saw that,” Dean teased, glee in his eyes when Castiel looked back at him. He was pointing at Castiel’s mouth. “Told ya you’d have fun.”

Castiel bit down on his lip, trying to suppress a chuckle. “It’s something... different,” he allowed. “And the kids seem to be having fun.” He was having fun, too, but not because of the theme park. Claire and Jack were enjoying themselves, and Dean was glowing from the inside out with child-like exuberance. If Castiel could bottle the sparkle in Dean’s eyes, he’d wear it by a chain around his neck and never take it off.

His phone was on 15% battery, because he’d taken a lot more pictures and videos that day than just the stagecoach robbery.

“Good different?” Dean asked, brows popping.

Castiel nodded. “Good different.”

“Good, because we’re coming back every year until we die.”

Castiel tried to roll his eyes just to keep up appearances.

Dean hummed happily, his fingertips brushing against Castiel’s at their sides before he dipped in and pecked a kiss to the corner of Castiel’s mouth. It made Castiel’s hat tip back fractionally. “Thanks for humoring me, sweetheart.”

The gentleness of it, paired with the sincerity in Dean’s voice, caused a flutter in Castiel’s chest. “Of course,” Castiel told him, voice barely above a whisper and getting lost in the chatter of the crowd. Twelve years later, and Dean could still make him speechless, so of course Castiel would humor him. He’d do anything for Dean.

He threaded his fingers through Dean’s and told him, “I’m your huckleberry.”

Dean flushed slightly, smile becoming impossibly brighter. Those words were something else that was rarely brought out in public.

“Alright, come on,” Dean said, grasping Castiel’s hand tighter and pulling him after the kids. “We better catch up before they get themselves thrown into a Wild West jail for real.”

“Of course,” Castiel said again, playing along. “You’d be too jealous.”

“Hell yeah! That’d be so cool!”

The bright, warm sun beat down on them as they walked through the trail dust.

Dean took a glance at Castiel’s jeans and t-shirt and told him, “You’re gonna need a better outfit for the photo. Don’t worry. I’ll pick out something authentic.”

///

Tagged: @herowilson @donestiel @wanderingcas @thetiredstuff @skella-bro @casthegrumpy @celestialcastiel @bluefirecas @jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets @that-one-fandom-chick @haru-park96 @alejandriaiqq @no-aesthetic-all-aethetic @amirosebooks @epple-benene @wanderingcas @agus-likes @the-ship-haz-sailed @justkissalreadyforfucksake @madimoo31 @an-angel-in-love-with-a-hunter @gracelesstars @bazghetti @wayward-waffles @theojaxons @jenmishrob @all-or-nothing-baby @auttownblue @leftistdean @sargafust @wannabe-loser @jessalrynn @splicedthoughts @castielss @that-dumbass-on-a-horse @passionfruixts @fabreagab @princesswinchester100 @superduckbatrebel @hopefuldreamers-world@theangelwiththewormstache @casandeans @unamusedelipsis @mylovelydame21 @confusedisaster @superduckbatrebel @destielwentcanonomg @highest-brightness @i-put-the-ayyy-in-asexual @darkacademiagay @imthedoctorlove @freckledean @youcanteverknowenough @chicken-kebabs @myguardianangelisatrickster @hotactiongirlcoded @wingsandimpalas @casandhumanity @tploz @starlightoffandoms @dontsgotalifee389 @on-a-bender @lilac-void @castiel-mybeloved @siriusseverusdeservedbetter @doctorprofessorsong

[dream-girls-evil]

Okay this post got very long and messy but!! Honestly can’t believe how sapphic the second episode of The Nevers was. Like they had this whole scene between Penance and Augie, trying to play up their potential romance, and yet the whole thing was really just there to set up Penance leaving the party alone so that she could be kidnapped by Maladie and the whole dynamic is literally full of classic villain-hero-love interest tropes!!! Not to mention Maladie herself being very queer-coded.

I’ll start with Maladie. She’s pretty overtly and inappropriately sexual, but the sapphic side of that is really highlighted in this ep. Her relationship with Bonfire Annie seems flirtatious at least, and there’s a noticeable fondness between them. Despite Maladie’s followers commenting that Annie doesn’t suppose their cause and is only there because she was hired, Maladie seems to care about pleasing her and keeping her around.

On Annie’s side, she certainly seems swayed by her boss’ affection. There’s no real insult when she tells Maladie that she’s being stupid, only warning. And I can’t imagine many other people could get away with saying something like that to Maladie like that anyway. When she stops Maladie from killing Amalia, we see the genuine shock on Maladie’s face and the apology on Annie’s. And yet the action isn’t, I don’t think, a betrayal—Annie’s intervention is what allows Maladie to run off before the cops can catch her.

Then, of course, we have her whole backstory with Amalia.

The whole premise of an “affliction” that upsets the way rich white men think things are supposed to be is broadly applicable to a lot of different societal conflicts, and several are even brought up directly: class conflict, race, women’s rights, neurodivergence. Maladie is a representative of the abuse that could occur, especially to women, under the guise of mental health treatment. And without knowing exactly what it was that Maladie suffered from originally and how much of her current mindset is a result of “treatment” for it, I was really struck by the potential sapphic interpretation.

It’s unclear exactly what happened between Amalia and Maladie. We know Amalia betrayed her trust by what sounds like exposing something about her, and that led to a young Sarah being taken away and having awful things done to her. Amalia says she didn’t have a choice, and Maladie says that’s because she had a mission, but I have to wonder whether that’s the truth or only what Maladie believes. If we consider it subjective, then the rest—trust broken, a secret revealed, sexual abuse by her doctors, the resulting strong religiosity—all really carry the tone someone being outed and subjected to conversion therapy.

As a result of this abuse, the young Sarah turns into a Maladie full of pain and betrayal who wants to hurt Amalia the way Amalia hurt her. And how does she do it?

“Yeah, but I’m not looking for her, I’m looking for her! The entire of her. The fuckin’ soul, eh?”

Maladie wants to strike at Amalia’s soul—something part of her, that completes her—and Annie gets her Penance. Because they’re supposed to be inseparable; this is presented as common knowledge.

It’s a common trope for a villain to kidnap the hero’s love interest and force them to choose between saving them and saving the city/the world/a bus full of school children/etc. Mary, in this scenario, clearly represents the latter, because she is their hope for reaching out to all the Touched. And it’s not to say that the most important relationship in Amalia’s life can’t be a purely platonic one, but I do think that if Amalia was a man, there would be little doubt in interpreting Penance as the love interest. Especially as the rest of the episode is filled with similar tropes.

We have Penance standing at Amalia’s bedside berating her for nearly dying. We have her looking tense and upset and Amalia reaching for her hand as she stands to leave. There’s a moment of hesitation and surprise as Penance looks from Amalia’s face to where her thumb is stroking Penance’s wrist, as if she’s debating, before she gives in and curls up against Amalia’s side. Yet the framing is one of familiarity in how their hands comfortably readjust and Penance smiles and finally breathes. It gives the sense that this is something they’ve done before, that Amalia knows Penance needs this to reassure herself that Amalia’s okay. It’s a scene mostly familiar as one we see in a lot of shows when someone gets seriously injured or sick and their significant other climbs into the hospital bed with them.

There’s a sense that Amalia is drawing comfort and strength from Penance’s closeness as well, preparing herself to admit the heavy shame of her role in Maladie’s history. But Penance stops her with the line “let’s just be alive for a while.” It’s yet another common occurrence between hero and love interest, especially after the hero gets hurt—they want to push on or are still worrying about what happened and what comes next, and the love interest reminds them to be present or sometimes more forcefully tells them to stop, because they almost lost the hero but they didn’t and they just want to have them close while they can, before something else happens. And the hero gives in and just lies with their love.

It’s just...all so painfully obvious how this would be presented if it were a heterosexual couple, from Maladie’s anger that borders on scorn and bitterness about Amalia’s “new best friend” to Penance and Amalia’s dynamic throughout. How easy it is to imagine a more overt romantic tone and how naturally they could have segued into a love confession or emotional speech or kiss when Penance was sitting at Amalia’s bedside. And yet also having the subtext that’s so particular to queer relationships and characters: the ambiguity, the intensity, and all that’s communicated through touches and gazes but left unsaid.

[jomiddlemarch]

The Street

“I think I’m allergic to Prairie Dawn,” Mary said, scratching at the hives that made a bracelet around her right wrist, knowing she shouldn’t and doing it all the same for the extremely brief but intense relief it provided. There was an undeniable parallel to her decision to vent to Jed Foster.

“Well, Duchess, that’s on you—you’re the one who insisted on natural fibers when they made the new one,” Jed replied. “Polyester wasn’t as much of a problem as you made it out to be, now was it?”

“You’re an asshole,” she said, a thought she’d regularly had, sometimes coupled with a fonder or even appreciative remark in the vein of but a damn fine performer or but at least you’re smoking hot in those jeans. There was no such accompaniment today.

“Language—this is a children’s show after all,” Jed replied. “And Elmo is really into tone-policing, if you hadn’t noticed with all the third person stuff.”

“I’m going to see if Char has any lotion,” Mary said. “She had some cocoa butter in her bag last week, that might help.” Char wasn’t a puppeteer, she was one of the Street regulars, cast as Gordon’s great-niece Aniya, but they’d struck up a conversation at the craft table, bridging what was often an insurmountable chasm between the live actors and the puppeteers with agreement over the staleness of the pastries and the pretentiousness of Clay’s musical arrangements.

“You don’t have to go, I’m sorry,” Jed said quickly. It wasn’t a surprise, his rapid about-face, the brief apology, the way he danced around asking her to stay. There’d been something between them since she’d been hired, something completely different from her easy friendship with Sam, the brother-sister vibe she had with Hank, but neither she nor Jed had ever taken whatever next step was necessary to move beyond what Char identified as an unholy amalgam of flirting and sniping and it didn’t seem like a skin sensitivity to alpaca was going to do it. “I am an asshole, that’s kind of my default, but I don’t—”

“You don’t what?” Mary said.

“I don’t want you thinking that’s all I am,” he said, shockingly honest.

“Yeah, so, one way to make your wish come true would be for you to occasionally take a break from the general assholishness when you’re not performing,” Mary said. “And for the record, I hate when you call me Duchess, you could drop that like a hot rock.”

“I didn’t think you’d actually take me seriously, Mary,” he said, not specifying whether he meant the apology or the continual snarking. “That is, may I call you Mary? I should’ve asked—”

“What the hell,” she said, scratching again at her wrist when he startled her by taking her left hand in his, holding it lightly, his touch both comforting and electric. “You already did.”

“Still, I should’ve asked first. I wasn’t raised by wolves. And there’s some children’s Benadryl in the first aid kit, I saw Annie stocking it. That’ll help more than Char’s cocoa butter and anyway, she hates me,” he said.

“How is Char hating or not-hating you, for the sake of argument, relevant here?” Mary said.

“I’m going with you,” he answered. It was a statement until she looked in his dark eyes and saw the question, one she realized she did indeed want to answer yes.

*

Which was how Bridget ended up seeing them holding hands and told Emma, who told Hank, who was a gossip dead-end, but also Ali, who couldn’t keep her mouth shut to save her life until finally Donna Murphy, guest-starring, belted out “Some Enchanted Evening” squarely in their direction, despite Cookie Monster eating all the stars hanging behind her, and Jed stage-whispered,

“Guess our secret is out, Duchess.”

@sagiow​, I wasn’t kidding with the crack-fic! @fericita-s​ @broadwaybaggins​ @tortoisesshells​ @mercurygray​ and any other remaining Mercy Street fans, here is a crossover AU you never asked for and probably for good reason!

[quazartranslates]

Welcome to the Nightmare Game II - CH36

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

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Chapter 36: Star Death Reality Show (XIX) {cw: gore}

After being preached to about gods, Lara was silent and did not dare to talk to Qi Leren as they walked.

Qi Leren’s heart was still thinking about Dr. Lu and Du Yue, and at that time he was silent. After cutting off the power supply in the underground laboratory, he had returned to the laser corridor. Although the door to the corridor was open, Dr. Lu and Du Yue were gone. Outside this door was Jing Siyu's basement, where there were traces of fighting. Qi Leren guessed that someone had entered the basement whom Dr. Lu had judged to be a threat. It was not clear which side won, but both sides had left the scene, and it was indistinguishable whether they had returned to the surface or entered the underground research institute.

Earlier, he had entered the underground research institute, but Dr. Lu and Du Yue had been locked out. These two people must have been looking for ways to enter the underground research institute everywhere, and they also met Lara and the others. Later, Dr. Lu had used his talent of "treasure hunting expert" and found another ID card, so he opened the door.

It was already 11 o'clock on the fourth night. According to the amphioctopus’s parasitic tendencies, except Xue Jiahui who was killed by Qi Leren, the remaining three amphioctopuses may or may not have finished one round of parasitism. Now, the total number of amphioctopuses should be between three to six.

The larval body had no fighting power, and could even be eaten by other octopuses in a competitive state, so the enemies he needed to face at present were only three mature octopuses.

Qi Leren quietly caught a glimpse of Lara. On the way to Lara's house, he had been ready to face two octopuses at the same time, because Xue Jiahui had been infected the previous night. After one day, the octopus in her body had matured. On the third night, she should have infected one person. Qi Leren felt that Lara, who had been taking care of her, was the most suspect.

However, when he sneaked into Laura's house and overheard her and Xue Jiahui's speech, he temporarily ruled out Laura's suspicion and just killed Xue Jiahui on the spot. But if Laura wasn't parasitic, who would it be?

"Who has seen Xue Jiahui in the last day?" Qi Leren asked.

"Jing Siyu, Jing Sixue, and Francis," Lara said, her face turned white. "Do you mean..."

"Were any of them in your room between 8:00 and midnight last night?" Qi Leren asked, roughly calculating when the octopus would have become parasitic.

"...Francis. He had come many times, mainly to see me... I... I asked him to take care of Xue Jiahui..." Lara's face became pale and almost ghostly.

The two walked in the snow, and only their footsteps and breathing were left in the quiet space between heaven and earth. Lara swallowed saliva hard and asked in a hoarse voice: "Has he already..."

Qi Leren nodded his head.

The cold wind blew and froze the tears that had just flowed out of her eyes. Lara covered her face and breathed hard, and the exhaled hot air was frozen into a white mist amidst the snow and ice. She was shaking, and even a temperature-regulating suit could not warm her frozen heart at the moment.

Qi Leren was taken by Lara's emotional state, and he couldn't help feeling sorry for her. But her strength is beyond Qi Leren’s imagination. In less than a few minutes, she calmed down, and only her reddish eyes exposed her heart.

"I see, if he really becomes a monster, I... I... I will... I will," Lara resolutely said.

Qi Leren thought, and thought, and thought.

What if it was him? Could he make a decision like Lara’s?

"You don't have to make a decision now. You’ll never know your choice until that moment," Qi Leren said to Lara, as if he were talking to himself.

No one could easily make such a difficult choice. No matter how many plans there are before things happen, it’s not necessarily rationality that makes people decide. Maybe the righteous would become deserters, but the cowardly would become heroes, who knows?

In the extremely bright night, two people who didn't need additional lighting arrived at Annie's house smoothly. The lights inside were off, but Qi Leren didn't dare to take it lightly. Mark was the first person to be parasitized, and the second was Xue Jiahui. On the third day, one of the two victims was Francis and the other was Annie. Aware of the terrible amphioctopus, she had still cooperated with Mark, the parasitized person. Her position was not innocent.

Whether she was parasitized or not, breaking into Annie's house was bound to be a great risk. If the octopus in her body had matured, Qi Leren couldn't think of a good way to catch her by surprise.

"Take this, you hide. If you hear me call your name from inside, throw this into the window and then run away." Qi Leren gave Lara a hand grenade, which had been taken from the institute, and instructed her on how to use it.

Lara was uneasy: "Can you handle it?"

Qi Leren showed that kind of sage-like smile again, paving the way for his "miracle": "Don't worry, God will bless me."

Although Qi Leren's expression and tone at this time was very confident, it still couldn't completely reassure Lara. After all, she had witnessed the "Apostle of God" being hit on the back by an exploded door not long ago, which seriously damaged his credibility. Laura looked at Qi Leren full of worries, hoping that the injury wouldn’t affect his combat effectiveness.

Qi Leren was stressed by Lara's gaze, so he had to jolt himself into taking action. He turned to look for the window he had used to sneak into Annie's house last time. The last time, they had a hard time climbing up, but after his near-death breakthrough in the laser corridor, Qi Leren felt that he could climb in by himself without help.

Indeed, Qi Leren was as agile as a cat, climbing the notches on the outer wall, and the strength in his arms easily supported his body, pulling himself up the wall to climb to the window sill on the second floor and sneak into this quiet house.

The room was dark, and the light outside the window wasn’t enough to illuminate it. However, after the shell was broken, Qi Leren's eyesight was significantly enhanced, and he could see the environment clearly. There was no one in the room, so he quietly opened the door, holding the revolver in both hands, and walked forward against the wall.

Annie seldom left her house, but at this time she was most likely looking for the next parasitic prey. Whether she was here or not, she would surely come back.

Qi Leren quickly searched the second floor of the house. Annie wasn’t here, so he came to the first floor again and still found nothing.

Now there were only two possibilities. She was out foraging, or she was in the basement.

But if he wanted to enter the basement, it was too dangerous to crawl down the pipe. He didn't forget how he had ambushed Annie when she had climbed down the pipe before.

Qi Leren was caught in a dilemma. Although waiting could give him an answer, he didn't have much time to delay here. He would continue to look for Dr. Lu and Du Yue.

Let's go to the attic, Qi Leren thought. He found the hidden ladder on the second floor’s ceiling and entered the attic.

That special floor panel in the attic was there, just lift it up...

With a "click" sound, the floor was suddenly pushed and lifted from the inside. Annie suddenly was crouched there. Qi Leren’s mind raced—should he throw a bomb immediately or test the waters first?

Panic broke out in two very different creatures at the same time. Annie screamed, and Qi Leren dove to the ground, but didn’t forget to pull out his gun and pull the trigger to shoot—Bang! Bang!

Three consecutive shots hit the nearby target. Annie's beautiful head had been blown into a broken watermelon. Without the command of her brain, she failed to support her body. She immediately fell into the pipe and fell back down to the basement. However, Qi Leren knew that it was not dead, its brain was only broken. For it, this is just like a hermit crab that has lost its temporary residence. Its vitality was tenacious enough and its fighting capacity was amazing.

Qi Leren almost held his breath. He took out a grenade and threw it into the pipe, and then ran away, squatting in the corner with his head in his hands.

After an earth-shattering noise, the whole house shook a few times, and then everything was silent again.

You must be dead now, right? Qi Leren guessed that this hand grenade should be enough to kill the octopus. If Mark was down there, it would be a perfect double kill.

Qi Leren waited on it for ten minutes before returning to the pipe’s opening that led to the basement, looking down. It was dark and silent below. He hesitated for a moment, making sure he didn't have the tracking camera on, then he took out a long rope from the item bar and tied it, and stepped on the iron ladder that had become fragile after the explosion.

It was dark in the basement, and in this unlit environment, you couldn't see anything without turning on the lights. Qi Leren smelled the hot and smoky air after the explosion, and reached out and touched the handgun in his pocket…

The Rain-Day Laundry skill hadn’t cooled down after the laser corridor, and it was impossible for it to give him an early warning. But in this deep-sea darkness, Qi Leren's intuition screamed in his mind, danger! Danger! Danger!

At this moment, the reaction forced on him by Chen Baiqi torture made Qi Leren fall to the ground, and something heavy flew over his head and slammed against the wall.

It wasn’t dead yet! Qi Leren’s mind screamed. S/L hadn't cooled down yet. In this case, he had only one life!

Darkness was obviously not an obstacle to the amphioctopus. It started to attack relentlessly in the darkness. Even if his intuition was sensitive again, being passive right now would make him lose. Qi Leren turned on his flashlight and threw it out. Only by this light did he see around.

Needless to say, the octopus that had broken free from its human shell was waving its tentacles freely, grabbing up the rubble on the ground and throwing it at Qi Leren. It didn't rush up to attack because it was kind, but because after the explosion, a huge rock was pressing down more than half of its body, making it unable to move.

Looking at the immobile enemy in front of him, Qi Leren was greatly relieved. He got up from the ground and easily avoided the stones it threw. After the light came on, its crazy attack with only two tentacles seemed to be like a child’s unreasonable protest.

It seems that my luck is really good this time, Qi Leren thought, aiming the revolver at the monster that had once lived in Annie's body, and he fired three shots. The monster was dying, and dark brown mucus flowed all over the floor, but its vitality was still tenacious, almost like an immortal monster.

When the bullet chamber was empty, Qi Leren had to stop and load the revolver while walking around and dodging the stones thrown at him. He even had the leisure to think about where Mark had gone.

Did it go out to find a new host? Originally, he had thought that Mark would continue to dig out the stones here and aim to quickly clear the passage so it could enter the underground research institute.

.....So this was already done.

Qi Leren stepped forward, circumvented the obstacles, and looked deep into the basement. The channel that had been blocked by collapsed stones had been pried open, revealing a hole more than one meter wide. Qi Leren was frightened, and he suddenly understood why He Yi hadn’t turned off the power in time when he left the laser corridor—because he had met a difficult opponent.

And at this moment, the opponent was standing at the end of the hole, holding a single rocket launcher powerful enough to blow the basement to ruins!

-----

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[pynkhues]

To add to the conversation, I didn't care for the moment in Season 4. When Annie returns home after being kidnapped and tells Beth that Rio would never kidnap or harm her, but he did

The writers seemed to want us to forget about the kidnapping and shooting, but how could we? That conversation would have been great for them to have, and I believe it was a missed opportunity. I'm not sure how much Anne knows about what happened that night. In theory, I like the scene, but I don't think it worked out as well as it could have. Because the 2x13 moment still felt like an elephant in the room to me, if that makes sense? I just wish it was taken more seriously. What are your thoughts on this?

(x . x)

That's a really interesting one, anon! I actually think my read of the scene was a little bit different where I interpreted Beth's loaded silence after Annie had said that to her as Beth being reminded of the fact that he had / a reiteration that Beth had been vague on the details with Ruby and Annie about what had happened in the loft.

I also don't think the writers wanted us to forget about the kidnapping and shooting, but I do totally agree that they frequently missed the mark on how they weighted it and balanced it with everything else that was happening. They had these beats of really profound impact – the park bench fight in 3.06 after Rio's had Lucy killed I think is the most affecting and well done, as well as the scene with Beth and Max in the car after the failed hit in 3.07, which I think is a pretty excellent scene too at capturing everything Beth doesn't let herself feel – but I think there were a lot of missteps and misfires in the handling of the aftermath generally.

In a lot of ways, I think it comes back to the fact that the show's burdened by the pace it sets for itself. The best way I can really describe it is that it's a stumbling sprint in a circle. That sort of sounds like an insult, but it's not meant as one, haha, what I mean by that is that the show wants to feel like it's always pushing forwards because the girls have to be. There's no time for introspection, for grieving, for anger, because you've got to get the next job done. It's the embodiment, I think, of the task of motherhood with the stakes dialled to 100.

As a form of pace-setting, I think it often works in the show's favour overall, but there are certain situations, certain arcs, where that pacing doesn't work, and the aftermath of 2.13 is one of them. Something that traumatic for three of your major characters – Beth, Rio and Turner – needed the pace to be slowed down so that the audience could process it alongside them, but instead, the two month time jump set them right back at a new starting line and pushed forwards, without letting the characters or audience take a breath.

I think it's why we wanted the catharsis of moments elsewhere – a moment in 4.12 like you said, or Rio's scars, or a Beth meltdown – which we never got through either writing folly or choice.

I guess in that sense, what I think we needed was an episode before 3.01. We needed to see the direct aftermath of Rio recovering and in particular, I think, Beth struggling (or not struggling!) and the moment she sought out Rhea and Marcus. We needed to see the earlier moments where Annie and Ruby tried to get what happened out of Beth, and the moments they realised she would never tell them everything (like, gosh, imagine how much more poignant the moment of Annie telling Beth Rio would never kidnap her would be if we knew for sure that Beth had never told her?) Basically, I think we needed more context earlier to allow later moments a bit more scope and meaning.

[ryuichirou]

Can you make your top 10 aot characters that have a good development? Like Eren and Reiner are considered to be the best characters as 'characters' themselves

Anon… dear Anon, you’ve been waiting for like a month I think, I’m so sorry. I took this ask waaay too seriously lol, but yeah, I can’t postpone it for any longer…

I know you asked for top 10, and this is a numbered list, but I wouldn’t call it a proper ranking, so the place doesn’t really matter all that much. Otherwise this list would’ve taken even longer, I’m very serious about lists, it seems lol

Before I start I want to mention (just in case): I feel like “character development” isn’t always about becoming better at something. Sometimes you can become “worse”; sometimes you can get “better” and then fall back to your old ways. It’s just how the character changes, and the trajectory of that change can be very different for different characters.

1. Eren. I can talk about Eren for hours and hours, and I have talked about him a lot, so I’ll try to be quick this time.

Eren’s journey is very interesting and enjoyable to read. He’s such an unusual main character. So aggressive at first, unlikable to some (not to us lol we adored him since day one), loud and stubborn. But it’s super cool to watch this hurricane of a person, especially as he gets calmer, starts controlling his emotions little by little, learns more stuff and understands the situation around him better.

I think I’ll talk about how perspective and knowing a bigger picture change the way character acts a lot in this post, but Eren is an ultimate example of this. He got every single thing: past, present, future, drilled in his head at one fucking moment. He didn’t get a bigger picture, he got the biggest 5d picture with special effects. And he had no one to share that with: he had to deal with it himself, knowing that he himself is the reason for everything that’s happening. It makes my head hurt to even think about that lol It’s cool and unnerving to watch Eren, who’s used to be such a fireball of a character, to just get… quiet and apathetic. We don’t know what he’s thinking about, we don’t know what’s going on anymore, even though his emotions were always the most obvious thing about him. It’s almost scary.

And the interesting thing about it is that nothing really changed about his feelings, at least I think so. Ultimately, the only thing he wanted is for his friends to be happy and live long lives, and who knows, maybe he saw that the “freedom” he was initially seeking for himself doesn’t really exist. This is up to debate and definitely not for this post though lol

2. Reiner. Ohh Reiner. He was one of the characters who wasn’t all that interesting to me personally at first, but as he got more and more complex and emotional, I fell in love with him more and more. This isn’t a numbered list, but he is definitely one of the best written characters. And what’s cool about him is that we see the reason for him being the way he is throughout the story: why he wanted to become a hero, why his mental state got so bad, why he was conflicted, why he got so depressed and why he was able to take responsibility for his actions. I love it when the story breaks its characters, and Reiner is certainly one of the most broken ones. His lower point (when he almost killed himself + cried and asked Eren to kill him) was very beautiful and painful to read, because we know why he feels that way and we know how smug and brave he was at the very beginning of the show/manga. And we know that it was all a lie, which makes everything even tastier.

And as much as I love broken characters, I’m kind of glad Reiner found strength to continue fighting and to take responsibility for his actions (to some degree, at least). Not only he saw a bigger picture, he actually learned how to live with it. I’m so happy they discussed the Marco incident with Jean, and that after Annie told that it was her who took his gear, Reiner stood up and said that Annie was following his orders. He also apologized to Annie for everything he did to her and Bert.

Basically, Reiner went from wanting to be a hero to acting like a hero, then to being an actual hero to Marley and feeling like shit anyways, then to just being a human being, something like that. And that scene with his mom hugging him and being happy for him being alive is actually a very sweet and satisfying moment. Especially considering how much Reiner wanted to die lol

3. Zeke. I’ve talked about it in one of the replies about ch137, but I love how Zeke went from “I shouldn’t have been born” to “maybe small moments of happiness make everything worth it” at the very end of his life (what a cruel irony to realise that just before you die). Not only the character develops and changes, our view of him changes as well: I think Zeke was universally hated when he first appeared, but then he became more fun (dude’s too charismatic), and then he became sympathetic and vulnerable. All of this was always inside Zeke, but it was hidden since Zeke is a lying snake. See, Zeke is smart, but he’s super sure that his views are the only valid ones and that his idea of freeing Eldians is the only solution. His views are surprisingly black and white: I suffered, Eren suffered and our dad is bad. And no one challenged his beliefs until they walk through Grisha’s memories with Eren in ch120-121, and then he realized that Eren didn’t suffer at all and their dad is actually just a person who really regretted being a horrible father to his first son. I love that he got some closure with Grisha because he held that grudge for his entire life.

4. Grisha. He has a rollercoaster ride of a development lol: at first he was an innocent boy, then he became an angry boy, and then he kind of calmed his anger down for some time? But after learning what actually happened to Faye, his emotional wounds got open and all that rage blinded him again. And then, after being outed by Zeke, he lost everything, but had a harsh realization that by being driven by his anger only, he completely forgot not to be a shitty dad. He basically had a second chance in life, with a much better perspective about what’s going on, but now he has his younger son’s ghost haunting him and telling him to do thing he never thought he’d do. At different points of the story Grisha feels both like a mastermind behind things and like a pawn who doesn’t have a choice even if he just wants to live a peaceful and happy life with his wife and kids. The irony of him killing a bunch innocent kids when this whole story started because he got his little sister killed? Delicious. Oh, and I really love the fact that he realised that he screwed up as dad and apologized to Zeke. He loved his kids a lot: Zeke, Eren and Mikasa too (he called her his daughter after all).

5. Erwin. Way more interesting than people give him credit for. He’s mostly adored for being a badass, but he also has his own flaws that he had to deal with. He’s like a moth that’s drawn to the light, but right after burning himself and dying he kind of did “the right thing” that he had to do as a commander. Now, for me it isn’t really about Erwin ending up doing “the right thing” to be honest: we would probably adored him is he ditched everyone and ran to the basement because his selfish desires ended up being more important to him. But that scene where he confessed to Levi that he really wanted to find that basement and just told him everything about his capricious and selfish childish desires, talked about how he lied to everyone including Levi basically just to prove his dad’s point… it was beautiful, because it was basically “I have to do it, haven’t I? But I really don’t want to”. His character development is interesting in a sense that at first he was getting gradually more and more psychotic about his dream, doing crazy things even when he knows it might not be the best choice possible (like him risking his life instead of staying behind), but at the very end he stopped to think and… well we know the rest lol

6.  Armin. I remember people saying that Armin is just a narrator-like character who is here to explain thing (I probably thought so too at first), but this is so unfair. It’s easy to make someone like Armin into this trope, and to leave him being a very one-dimensional dreamer who’s smart but naive. And Armin is so much more than that. Throughout the story he has a lot of “I should have been the one who died” moments, and I love that this is such a prominent issue for him, but he still got over it somehow. Armin was kind of lost at the beginning, but found his role. And wow, he had to go through it again after he was chosen instead of Erwin, because the burden on his shoulders just got 100 kg heavier lol He also got less naïve and more cunning with time and got much better at emotional manipulation, I think. While preferring a dialogue over violence, Armin still isn’t pure, and he acknowledges that constantly, especially after his first kill, and things got even worse since that point, which definitely changed him. But his violence-loathing (kind of…) core is still there.

Armin ended up playing a much bigger role in the story than I thought he would be, I really love it. He has his moments of weakness, but he still pushes forward and takes responsibility and does his best. Oh and let’s pretend that the Annie thing never happened, it doesn’t contribute anything to his character anyway.

7.  Jean. I think Jean is the first character who starts showing character growth, and I believe his development is the reason he was Isayama’s favourite for some time. Tbh, I don’t find Jean annoying even at the very beginning: yeah he’s selfish, but he’s self-aware about it, he’s a realist. And he’s still a realist, but his conscience wouldn’t let him just have an easy life while everyone else’s suffering. I always feel like Jean is a spoiled mamaboy, so it’s great to see him showing that he can put others before himself. He also had an inner conflict similar to Armin’s: is it right to kill innocent people if you have to? Is it ok to kill not-so-innocent people because they’re against you? I really like this theme in SnK just in general.

8.  Gabi. It’s no secret that I adore Gabi lol, and I think her character development is great. She was in her element when we first met her: she was confident, she was doing her best and succeeding, she knew the world around her so well, and then Eren took everything from her. People like to hate Gabi for killing Sasha and for being aggressive on Paradis, but I think it’s great that she didn’t have an overnight change of heart. It’s great that Isayama showed us her shock and her raw emotions, it’s more than natural for a child with her upbringing, even if it’s messed up. But I love it when stories take characters that are great at what they do, and they take them out of their element, to show them at their worst: lost, angry, broken and confused. I love that she understood everything herself and not because Falco told her “hey they’re people too” that one time. She had to go through this hell to figure everything out, and I think it’s great.

9.  Historia. Historia was one of the least interesting characters for me (and for a lot of people, Yams included) at the beginning, and tbh I think it’s brilliant: we never saw anything in her; she was just a waifu material who’s nice to others. It felt fake and boring, well, because it was indeed fake and boring, and to this day I cannot believe that that was the entire point. I love how Ymir made Historia realise that she needs to think for herself, but what’s interesting about all that is that after Ymir left, she almost came back to her old habits. Which is also a development, and a very interesting one. The end of S2 was a high point for her (when she told Ymir that she isn’t scared of anything when they’re together), and then there was a very low point (when Ymir left), and then a high point again (when she remembered Ymir and Frieda and decided to act upon her own desires). She’s one of my faves now because of all that… It’s sad she didn’t have a bigger role post-timeskip, but I still appreciate her story for what it is.

10.  Oh god this is so hard to pick one and this post is already so long… can I just give you a bunch of quick honorable mentions?

Annie (who was a loner that couldn’t really trust anyone but ended up showing her vulnerable and emotional side), Hange (started out enthusiastic and eager to learn more only to meet more pain and disappointment, crumbling under the pressure, but ultimately remembering her amusement with titans), Levi (granted it’s very subtle, but him going through Kenny’s death, Erwin’s death and his promise to him, realization that he’s been killing people all this time and other stuff fascinating and huge leaving a mark on him), Ymir (who got hurt and decided not to trust anyone anymore and to act selfishly, but ended up sacrificing herself anyway lol)…. God, these short description sucks, they can’t describe them properly. Also there are so much of them that I think have good development, and I’m 100% missing someone… but I think I’m done for now. Katsu I’m sorry for making you read all this.

That you for this ask, Anon <3 and sorry again for being so late

[lilyofthestyx]

Fighting For Tomorrow: Chapter Six

Disclaimer: Still haven’t bought AOT but I’m working on it! 

AN: this. is a doozy of a chapter- i know. lots. and lots. and lots of words. but DAMN if i didnt love every part of it. however! if you guys prefer smaller chapters please please please dont hesitate to say something. seriously. id love to write you guys more frequent, smaller chapters but if you guys like the longass, slightly infrequent chapters then they shall continue. just say the word bby. also i felt kinda poetic in some of these sections so if you see reader gettin fancy with her verbage, don’t trip. that was my bad. 

Reiner x Fem!Reader, eventual Captain Levi x Fem!Reader, Sasha x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 10k (i finished this at 2 am today before class and nearly passed out at the sight ‘10,008 words’ when i pulled up my word counter. CH-YOW this a big boy)

TW: gore/blood/violence/death, adult language/swearing, slight PTSD, mental anguish, self-harm, grief, nightmares, insomnia, hysterics, horse accident

You can read parts one, two, three, four, and five just by tapping the lovely numbers!

   The flames crackle and rage before us, engulfing our comrades’ bodies in scarlet and gold waves. 

   Engulfing Marco’s body. 

   Jean had found him. Just… laying there. Up against a building. No one had seen him die, no one knew how he died, just that he did. Marco- our comrade, our friend... my friend- just gone. Taken from us. There was no valiant deed. There was no heroism. There was no triumphant story. Nothing. He just… died. 

   And that’s the worst part. 

   He was taken from us and no one knows how. No one knows why. 

   Marco was one of the first comrades I got close to. We were competitive- always fighting to outdo each other. I’d train two hours, he’d train three. He’d pass the ODM test after four tries, I’d pass it in three. Back and forth, back and forth. 

   But if we faced something bigger than us- if there was an exercise we couldn’t quite pin down, if there was another Cadet giving us problems, if one of our squad members were injured- we’d always come together to beat it. It was always like that. 

   He was like my little brother. 

   I scoff at myself. They all are like my younger siblings. Eren, Armin, Mikasa, Jean, Connie, even Annie and Bertholdt. They’re all family and losing Marco… it was like losing a brother. 

   I did lose a brother. 

   My brother is among the flames- being turned to ash before my eyes. Marco is gone. Taken from me. Robbed from me. From everyone. His intellect, his kindness, his leadership. All of it gone. Taken from humanity. 

   We’re just kids. 

   Marco was just a kid. 

   All of us- bright-eyed kids wanting to do our best for humanity. To take back what was stolen from us. To serve humanity. We didn’t know how much hate, how much horror was waiting for us. To watch our comrades- our family and friends- be torn apart in front of us. To lose the ones closest to us in unspeakable carnage. 

   All we wanted was to do something for humanity. 

   All Marco wanted was to do something for humanity.

   He was just a kid.

   Tears are streaming down my face as we all watch the flames consume the bodies of fallen soldiers. I can hear the crackling of wood, feel the heat on my skin. But the crackling is distant and the heat is faint. My chest feels empty and cold. 

   I lost Marco. I lost Hannah. I lost Franz. 

   And I’ll never get them back.

   But I’ll be damned if I allow anyone else to be taken from me. 

   The Commander roars and rages before us, engulfing us in his words. They burn and singe like fire as they cross the Cadets’ ears. I can hear them whispering among themselves- asking if he’s serious or if he’s crazy or already resigning themselves to the Garrison. 

   It doesn’t matter what they say. 

   I’m joining the Scouts. Commander Erwin’s words are a comfort, a pleasant yet caveat warmth. Like a candle sitting beside a curtain. I know what I’m signing up for. I’ve always known. But it doesn’t mean I’ll be giving it all up now. 

   “I’ve made my decision.”

   My eyes turn away from the Commander, landing on Reiner’s form beside me. His gaze is still stuck on the Commander, back straight and shoulders squared. I turn my gaze back to the Commander- not wanting to be chewed out by a commanding officer for not paying attention. “...really?” I ask quietly, “Where are you-?”

   “The Scouts.”

   My eyes are back on him. “What?” I hiss, “Reiner, you can’t... throw away your shot at the Military Police- you worked so hard, why would you-?”

   “Eren was right,” he says quietly. I can feel his chest fill with breath before he chuckles. “They don’t need our skills so far away from the walls. They need us where we’re at use- where the people are.”

   “Rei, please, please,” I whisper, “Please don’t do this.”

   “Why not?” Reiner chuckles again, “You want me gone?”

   “It’s not like that,” I shoot back, “I just…”

   “You just what?”

   “...I don’t wanna lose anyone else.”

   “...you won’t.”

   “You can’t know that… I’m already worried about Eren and Armin and Mikasa- if I have to worry about anyone else-”

   “You don’t need to worry about me, darling… Because we’re going to get through this,” I can feel his finger graze the side of my hand before his hand takes mine. “Together.”

   A shaky exhale leaves my mouth as I close my eyes. “...together,” I whisper as shivers run down my spine.

   “That’s right, darling.”

   “...those who wish to join other divisions are dismissed.”

   Shuffles of feet scurry past me as I remain. I can feel their gazes, their judging glares and confused looks. They mumble to themselves. ‘Insane’, ‘crackpots’, ‘suicidal’, ‘deathwish’. Nervously, I swallow and grip Reiner’s hand tighter. 

   I can feel his smile. Proud and bright like the sun. Warming like the sun. Relaxation smoothes out over my skin as I soak it in. 

   I’ve done it. Finally. After years of fighting and hoping and wishing and dreaming about this very moment, I’m here. 

   The crowd clears out and a scattering of us remains. My eyes dart to each of the figures in the hopes of identifying my fellow crackpots.

   Reiner. Armin. Mikasa. Bertholdt. Ymir. Christa. Sas-

   My heart stops. 

   Sasha. Connie. Jean. 

   What the Hell are they doing here?! They were supposed to join the Military Police. They were going to, weren’t they?! Why are they still here?! Why aren’t they walking away? 

   At the very base of my stomach, something churns. Quickly and violently. 

   I think I’m gonna be sick. 

   I’m already going to be looking out for Armin, Eren, and Mikasa- I came to accept that long ago- but now Sasha? And Reiner? Connie and Jean, too?

   Most of everyone I’ve ever loved has just signed their hearts and bodies away to the Scouts- to nearly certain death. 

   There has to be a way to change their minds, right? There has to be. 

   ...but there isn’t, is there?

   They heard the statistics. They know how many have died in the Scouts. They know all the facts, all the dirtiest of details. 

   And they stayed.

   Gods, why did they stay?

   I’ll drag each of them out of here by their ears, kicking and screaming, if I have to. I already lost Marco and Hanna and Franz. I don’t think I could take losing them, too. 

   But if they truly want to- if they know the risk and want to dedicate their hearts just like I am… why would I stop them?

   I should be proud. 

   They’re- we all are- dedicating ourselves to the better future humanity deserves. To the eradication of Titans. To the freedom we all hunger for. 

   “Very well!” Commander Erwin’s voice booms out over us. “I welcome you- the newest recruits of the Scout Regiment!” His fist slams against his chest in a tight salute, “This is my real salute! Dedicate your hearts to the cause!”

   The group moves as one as we all strike our fists to our chests. 

   My eyes glide from the Commander to Sasha once more. 

   She’s shaking. I can hear her stifled sobs from here. 

   But she remains firm in her spot. 

   She’s made her decision. 

   And I can accept that. 

   I lay awake. Moonlight flickers through the window- inching towards the other side of the room. It’s late and I’m exhausted but even when I am, I can’t sleep. There’s too much screaming in my head. Too much gore. Too much carnage that I can only barely remember. The only things that do remember are my heart and lungs- hammering and pounding and stretching to the fullest in the wake of whatever nightmare slinked back into the recesses of my mind. 

   Reiner stirs in his sleep and wraps his arms around my waist. Tucking me into him, he sighs and buries his head into my neck. “...can’t sleep?” he mumbles. His voice is deep. Deeper than usual, with a gentle rumble to it. 

   “No,” I whisper back, shrinking into him.

   “Wanna talk about it?”

   I stay silent. No. No, I really, really, really, really don’t want to. Talking about whatever bothers me is like pulling teeth. It feels like a burden that I’m casting onto someone else. And with Reiner… he’s burdened enough already. He’s everyone’s big brother. Everyone’s confidant. He shoulders responsibilities and punishments for others- never once thinking about himself. 

   But he’s exhausted. All the time, exhausted. And he’s so good at hiding it. Even around me. But I can see it. The way his golden eyes go hazy at times, the way his shoulders sag and the way things slip his mind. The way he can become an entirely different person with terrifying speed. 

   It scares me how much I think he carries. Because when he breaks… it’ll be cataclysmic. 

   Reiner’s lips slide up my shoulder and neck, pressing gentle kisses against my skin. “...well?”

   But maybe he’ll open up to me if I take the step first. Maybe I’ll show him that there’s nothing to worry about- that I’m not going anywhere and that he can talk to me about anything. Everything. 

   “...I’ve… I’ve been having nightmares.” 

   His kisses stop where they are, lips still pressed to my skin for a moment before pulling away. His grip on me gets tighter as he pulls me closer. Reiner lets his head rest in the crook of my neck and sighs. “...what about?”

   I laugh quietly, letting my fingers trail against his forearm. “...I don’t remember most of them but… there is one that comes back… every now and then.”

   “I’m listening, darling.”

  Slowly, I take a breath. My eyes close as I remember the details of the dream. “...it always starts off the same… I’m in a throne room and there’s a person at my feet. Sometimes… it’s a woman and other times it’s a man and other times, I can’t tell which, but… there’s always someone at my feet,”

   “And they’re always crying,” I whisper, eyebrows drawing together and I grip his forearm. “Sobbing and pleading for mercy. A-...And I…” My voice quivers as tears start to flow from my eyes. “I… just… I don’t even know, I just… I see this… light- red light- come from their eyes and they just… they convulse and thrash around for a moment- screaming and crying and begging- before… before they…,”

   “...before they die at my feet,” I whisper brokenly, eyes open and staring out into the distance as the scene replays. “And when they finally die… I look up… and there’s… corpses. Thousands upon thousands of corpses, Rei… All piled up on top of each other and in writhing rigidity. As far as I could see- there were bodies- and… and somehow I know that… that I… I had… somehow I know that I was the one that killed them all.”

   “I’m your squad leader, Ness,” the man before us states before clapping a hand onto the horse towering beside him. “And this! Is my horse, Chalet…” 

   My eyes drift away from him, blankly settling on the various horses in their stalls behind me. I’ve tuned him out… I should probably listen to whatever he has to say. But… I’m so tired. Another night of staring at the ceiling while listening to Reiner snore and watching Bertholdt contort himself into a coil across the room. 

   I don’t know how many sleepless nights I have left. 

   My body lurches forward slightly as someone nudges me from behind. I turn to face whoever it was. Jean is towering over me with a smirk on his face as he pretends to be watching Squad Leader Ness. “...what the hell was that for?” I mutter, facing forward.

   “You were falling asleep again,” he chuckles quietly, “Another… late night?”

   I scoff and shake my head, “You’re a child.”

   “You didn’t say ‘no’.”

   “No, Jean,” I hiss, “I just… couldn’t sleep.”

   I can feel him deflate slightly behind me. “...oh…”

   “Yeah.”

   “...I get them, too.”

   “I really hope you don’t.”

   Connie, standing beside me, scoots closer. “What’re we talkin’ about?”

   Jean answers at the same time as I do. “Sex.”

   “Food.”

   Connie’s eyebrows furrow slightly as he risks a glance at me. “...huh?”

   I sigh and roll my eyes, “We were talking about-”

   “Did someone say ‘food’?” Sasha whispers excitedly behind me. 

   I sigh and roll my eyes again. “You three are-”

   “Hilarious.”

   “Your favorites.”

   “Really hungry.”

   Groaning softly, I shake my head at their responses. “Gods… I thought Armin, Eren, and Mikasa were a lot… then I had to get you knuckleheads thrown in, too.”

   “Now!” Ness states, looking significantly more disheveled than he did a few minutes ago. Adjusting the bandana around his head, he huffs and stands up straight. “Follow me and I’ll show you to your dorms- and then you’ll be introduced to your horses.”

   He walks off, leading us between the stables and the looming walls of the castle. My eyes trail up the crumbling stone- plants and vines and flowers managing their way through the cracks- and over the rolling hills dotted with trees. Sunlight floods the stone courtyard, basking us all in its warmth.

   It reminds me of home. 

   Not Shiganshina- but of the modest cottage in the forest. I smile to myself, watching Sasha bother Jean with Connie’s help just in front of me. I remember playing with her in the trees. We made and marked that forest. There isn’t a tree in that entire forest we haven’t carved up with arrows and knives or with the undersides of our shoes as we climbed their roots and limbs. Sasha would be afraid at first- of foxes or wolves or falling or tripping. But as soon as I took her hand and led her to the sunlight, to the tops of the trees, to the very breath of the sky… she’d always hunger for more. To go to the brightest spot in the forest, to climb the highest tree, to scale the steepest cliff. 

   My smile starts to fade slightly. 

   She’s even more afraid than she used to be… did I cause that? Does she even remember? She was young when I left… Does she remember when she scraped her knee and told her that she was now one with the forest- that its blood was in her and her blood in it? Does she remember that first tree we climbed together? Does she remember the nights we would run barefoot around the dew-covered clearings in the heart of the woods with no light to guide us except that of the moon? Does she remember what it was like to not be afraid?

   Will we ever get to go back…?

   The group stops. Ness smiles at us and points down the hallway to our left. “Down this hallway are the boys’ rooms,” he points to the hallway to our right. “And down this one is the girls’.” He chuckles and turns back to us. “There is… one other thing.”

   Uh oh. 

   “There’s only one bathroom.”

   I stifle a groan. It’s a goddamn castle. How in the walls is that even possible- one bathroom, my ass.

   “Well… only one that’s in good enough shape to be used, anyway. ‘sides the officers’ bathroom...” Ness admits, a sheepish smile growing on his lips as he rubs the back of his head. “You’re welcome to fix up the other ones, though! ...although, I think you’d need help…” Ness continues muttering more to himself than anyone else. 

   One bathroom. Unbelievable. I growl under my breath as Ness marches us back out into the courtyard. You’d think Captain Shortstack would be all over the renovations of this place- bathrooms included. 

   Whatever. It’s not like I shower when everyone else does, anyway. There’s always a possibility I could sneak into the officers’ bathroom like when we were in training… And there was that river...

   “I can see you already coming up with a plan,” Sasha appears next to me, lowering her voice. “What’re ya thinkin’?”

   I laugh softly, nudging her arm with my elbow. “Nothing regarding food.”

   Sasha pouts slightly, “Fine… then what’re ya thinkin’ about?”

   “Just plannin’ my way into the officers’ bathroom.”

   “Oooh,” Sasha laughs maliciously. “Do you think they’ll have hot water?”

   I sigh, closing my eyes and imagining the steam and feel of hot water cascading down my body. Hot water was a privilege in the Cadet Corps. ...one that was constantly being robbed from me. I’d mostly show up after everyone had already showered, praying that maybe I’d have even a moment to myself to unwind- and to not be stared at. And nearly every time, I bathed in freezing cold water. But there were a few times where I’d be wrapped in steam, delicate streams of hot water warming my frigid body. 

   ...now that I think about it, those ‘few times’ were whenever Reiner would wake me up early to get in the shower before everyone else.

   “Gods,” I mumble, looking at Reiner as he walks with Bertholdt and Annie. “I really hope so, ‘tato-muncher.”

   As if he felt my gaze on him, Reiner turns around and smiles. I return the smile with a scrunch of my nose. Reiner’s eyes glide behind me for a second, returning to me before darting back behind me. I turn around to follow his gaze. 

   Eren. 

   Eren runs straight for us, green cape flaring out behind him as he charges towards the group. Our eyes meet and his pace increases. My hand latches onto Sasha’s sleeve and tugs, “‘Tato! ‘Tato, look!” I laugh, slapping Connie’s shoulder. “Look who it is!”

   Connie and Sasha turn around and I can hear the others turn along with them. Armin and Mikasa greet him first, taking him into their arms and speaking quietly amongst themselves for a moment. When they break away, Eren’s smile widens as he looks over us. 

   “...you’re all here?” he asks quietly, smile slightly fading. “You all joined the Scouts?”

   “Well, yeah,” I laugh, “Why else would we be here- shits ‘nd giggles?”

   Eren rolls his eyes before scanning over us again. “Wait… if you’re all here… That means Jean, Marco, and Annie all joined the Military Police.”

   My heart plummets like a rock into my stomach. That’s right. He wasn’t there for the funeral. He doesn’t know. 

   The remaining section of our group walks up behind Eren- Jean leading them all. Eren turns around and groans. “Not you, too.”

   Jean doesn’t react. His face unreadable and voice flat, he rips the bandage off. “Marco’s dead.”

   “...what?” Eren mumbles, “What did you just… What’d you just say? Did you say Marco died?”

   Jean’s voice stays still as he continues.

   “Seems like not everyone can die a dramatic death.”

   “You don’t think it’s weird?” I laugh, picking up a section of hay and starting back towards the stable. “We know everyone, every thing’s position in the formation except Eren’s- arguably the most volatile and important piece of information to have. That isn’t the least bit confusing to you?”

   Reiner shrugs, taking the hay from my hands. “Dunno… I haven’t really thought about it.”

   I huff and shake my head, stepping in front of him and taking the hay back. “I can carry it,” I mutter, looking at the ridges growing in his face. “And by the look on your face, you have been thinking about it.” I turn around, lifting the hay over the stable door and onto the growing pile just beside my horse. 

   My horse nudges me with his nose, huffing. I smile and rub my hand up and down his nose, “...needy, aren’t we?” I whisper softly. 

   “Ya gonna give him a name?” Reiner asks, patting his hand against the horse’s neck. 

   Peeking down under the horse’s neck, I squint up at him. “You didn’t answer me.”

   Reiner rolls his eyes and walks away, sighing. “You didn’t ask anything.”

   “I asked if you were thinking about why we weren’t being filled in on Eren’s location in the formation.”

   “Technically, you didn’t ask,” he shoots back. 

   My eyes lock with his in an intense stare. “...we really gonna do this right now?” I ask quietly, still petting my horse.

   Reiner sighs and looks away, running a hand through his hair. I turn back to my horse, letting my forehead rest against his cheek. Reiner sighs again. The three of us stand in silence- only my horse breaking the silence with occasional huffs and flicks of his tail.

   “...I have been thinking about it,” Reiner finally mumbles. “But… not like you have.”

   Here we go again with him being all cryptic and skittish and avoidant. I am so sick of this game. 

   “Then how have you been thinking about it, Reiner?” I hiss, lifting my head off my horse and looking into his large grey eye. “All the time- just when I think you’re gonna open up to me about what’s going on in that…” I sigh frustratedly, “That… that… stupid, thick, adorable, blond head’a yours you just… you shut me back out again. And it’s so goddamn irritating, Rei,” I admit with a slight squeak in my voice. 

   Slowly, I turn to face him, gaze dropping down to the ground. “...I’ve been… I’ve been so open with you. More open than I have with anyone in my whole life- except, I dunno... Sasha- but I just… It’d be nice to have some’a that returned.”

   I can hear him get closer to me. Gently, his arms wrap around me and tuck me into his chest. I’m swallowed in his embrace as he runs his fingers up and down my back. “...okay,” he whispers, “okay, darling… I’ll… I’ll try and open up to you, okay? I’ll…” he trails off and sighs, tightening his hold on me as he places his chin on the top of my head. 

   “I know how hard it is, and… I… I’m not trying to force it out of you or anything… I just… I want to help you,” I whisper quietly. “And I promise you, Rei...I’m not going anywhere.”

   There’s a coldness in his laugh. It leaves his lips like ice and falls to the floor like daggers. “Thank you, darling. Just…,” Reiner takes my shoulders, pushing us apart. His gold eyes have slightly lost their luster as they peer deep into me. I squirm slightly in his stare, eyebrows furrowing. “You have to understand that there is a lot happening- something... bigger, darling.”

   I blink and tilt my head slightly to the side.  “Did you… did you get another assignment?” I ask quietly, “Something under the table?”

   Reiner is quiet for a moment, eyes flicking between mine. “...yes. Something under the table- from people higher than the Captain.”

   My eyes widen slightly. Is this what’s been weighing on him for so long? That’s why he’s been missing at times? What he’s been trying to tell me? Another assignment that he can’t talk about, even with me-

   Oh gods. 

   I feel like a total ass.

   “Who…?” I ask quietly, taking note of the way he straightens up to scan around us before shrinking back down. 

   Reiner scoots us back, tucking me up against the stable door. “I… I can’t tell you but… you understand that, right, darling?” He asks hopefully, a small lilt to his voice. Gently, his fingers trail my face and a small smile crosses my face. His lips mirror mine. 

   “I understand that, love,” I hum, leaning into his touch. “I do… I do have another question.”

   Reiner smiles wider, lovingly staring down at me. “What is it, darling?”

   Nervous claws at my stomach. 

   I shouldn’t ask this.

   Why? He’s finally being open with me- willing to at least tell me what’s wrong. Shouldn’t I-

   No. There’s something bigger here. Don’t. Ask. 

   “__________?” 

   I swallow my fear and meet his gaze. “...I heard you the night after the first clean-up operation,” I admit quietly, “with Annie and Bertholdt.”

   Reiner’s eyes darken, dropping down and avoiding my gaze. “...how much did you...?”

   “Not much,” I laugh nervously, “Just you guys arguing about telling me… and Annie saying to only tell me when you’re sure of how I’d feel.”

   With a sigh of relief, he closes his eyes and smiles. He quickly presses his lips to my forehead. “Okay, okay… Okay… Sorry, I just… I don’t need t’get... chewed out for that.”   I chuckle softly, “So… that big’a deal, huh?”

   Reiner laughs, “Yes. That big of’a deal.”

   “...so… it’s you, Annie, and Bertholdt,” I mumble, picking at the leather strap running down his chest. “Anyone else that I know?”

   “No, just us three.”

   “Am… am I in danger?” I ask jokingly, “All this secrecy- it makes me wonder.”

   Reiner doesn’t laugh with me. 

   “Rei?” I call, looking up at him. “...am I?”

   His eyes slide down to me, a small smile on his lips. “...stick with me, darling- I’ll keep ya safe.”

   “...what?”

   “There’s a lot at work here, __________,” Reiner sighs, his eyes going hazy for a second as he relives whatever is ‘at work’. Blinking, he focuses back on me. “But I can keep you safe. I’ve been keeping you safe.”

   What does this even mean? Are there people I can’t trust? If that’s true, then what? What am I supposed to do? Be some tiny little doll cowering in fear behind him? I hate being treated like some weak, fragile, defenseless thing. And what if he gets hurt protecting me? What then? What if something goes wrong and he ends up being blamed for something he didn’t do? 

   And what about Sasha? 

   “...what about my sister? What about her? Who’s gonna keep her safe?” I ask, clutching the fabric covering his chest, “If anything happens to Sasha, I…”

   “Nothing’s gonna happen to Sasha,” Reiner hums quietly, “We’re gonna keep her safe.”

   “And Eren? Mikasa? Armin? What about the boys? If any of them get hurt, Rei, I just… I don’t think I could…”

   “__________,” he says firmly, catching my attention. Slowly, my eyes slide up to meet his again. They’re gentle and glowing in the fading sunlight. His hand trails down my face again, leaving a buzzing wake behind it. 

   “You need to trust me.”

   I swallow and nod quickly. “Okay, yes, okay… Okay, you’re right. We… We are all gonna be okay.”

   Reiner chuckles and lets his chin rest on the top of my head as he tucks me into his chest again. 

   “That’s my girl.”

   “Oiii!” I yell, waving a hand over my head. “Ponytail!”

   Eld’s head starts swiveling around, looking for whoever called him. With a gentle kick of my horse, he trots closer. “Eld!” I call again, sliding off the side of my horse. My feet hit the dirt just in front of him as I straighten up, shaking a few stray hairs out of my eyes. “It’s good to see ya again.”

   Eld smiles and chuckles, gesturing down to the emerald green cape around my shoulders. “So you made it.”

  I look down and rub the fabric between my fingers. A smile crosses my face as I look back up to him. “Just like I dreamed I would.”

   “You’re in pretty high spirits,” Oluo scoffs as he walks by with a supply box. Setting it down into a wagon, he huffs and turns to face us. “Considering we’ll all be facing death in a few hours.”

   “Always the charmer, huh?” I mutter quietly, earning a small laugh from Eld. “And if you have t’know, I’m just happy we’re one step closer to going outside the walls…” I smile to myself, imagining the places Armin used to talk about. Fire water, ice hills, saltwater that goes on for so long even the merchants couldn’t drain all the salt from it. 

   I think that’ll be my favorite. ‘Sea’.

   Oluo scoffs again. “Bright-eyed, suicidal recruit… Just don’t get someone else killed, will ya?”

   “What the hell’s that supposed t’mean?” I snap back. 

   Oluo smiles crookedly, realisation splitting his face like a piece of china. “Struck a nerve, huh?,” he laughs, “Better get rid of those if you wanna make it.”

   “Bold talk for someone that’s too insecure to keep his own personality,” I mutter, rolling my eyes. I turn my attention back to Eld- who’s gone awfully quiet as the two of us went at it. A blush is back on his cheeks and I can see him fidgeting with his gaze in an effort to mind his own business. 

   “...uhm…” He mumbles as his eyes catch someone walking behind me. “This is Petra!” Eld blurts, tugging a woman by the arm. “The one that checked on you when you were, uh… asleep.”

   “In a coma, more like,” I laugh, dipping my head to the woman. She has ginger hair cut just above her shoulders and soft, kind eyes. There’s something about her that reminds me so much of a deer for some reason. 

   Petra’s eyes suddenly light up as she looks over me again. “I remember you- you’re __________! I didn’t know you had your heart set on the Scouts. Which is surprising… considering how much Eld talks about you.”

   Eld’s face goes even redder. He stands rigidly, eyes fixated on the horizon. 

   ...I think he just went into shock. 

   “Well, thank you,” I hum, giving Petra another smile. “For checking in on me.”

   Petra shakes her head, “It wasn’t any issue at all.”

   I dip my head again and lightly punch Eld’s shoulder. “Hopefully you told her the story of how I kicked your and Oluo’s asses.”

   Petra tilts her head slightly to the side before a wicked smile crosses her lips. “...I don’t think I’ve heard that one, __________. Please, tell me.”

   “Well, I was walking down an alleyway when-”

  “That’s good!” Eld suddenly yelps, “Thank you so much, __________, for stopping by, but the Captain’s calling us!”

   Petra giggles as Eld walks behind her, pushing her by the shoulders. Captain Shortstack Jackass is watching them with his arms crossed over his chest, eyebrows furrowed. He very obviously didn’t call either of them. “You’ll have to tell me when we get back!” Petra calls. 

   “Of course!” I laugh, watching as Eld goes even redder. Petra waves over his shoulder and I do the same before mounting my horse. I give his neck a gentle pat and urge him forward- back towards the stable. 

  “You... need a name, Horse,” I mutter as we trot past the various wagons and other Scouts getting their horses and gear ready. “All horses have names… I guess.”

   Horse huffs at me. 

   “Well… you’re…” I look down at his coat as we start to pick up speed. It shimmers in the sunlight, revealing the faint speckles of black and grey under his cream-colored coat. “You’re cream and you’ve got freckles. And last I checked, you have grey-” Horse looks over slightly at me, light-brown eyes glistening. “Sorry… brown eyes. And black mane and tail.”

   My eyes flick up, locking onto the figure standing just a few feet in front of my horse. Gripping the reins, I tug back to stop Horse from trampling whoever is in front of me. Instead, I feel myself being shot forward and colliding with the ground. Pain shoots out from my arm, branching out in heated flashes. 

   I roll onto my back and stare up at the clouds as they lazily float by. “Gods…” I mutter to myself, “That sucked.”

   “Told you I’m better at handling horses than you.”

   I sit straight up. My head on a swivel, I look around for the voice. It sounded just like… It couldn’t have been- no. No, I’m just-

   My eyes land on him. Standing just a couple feet away, with a green Scouts cape on over his shoulders and ODM gear strapped on. He laughs, walking closer and shaking his head. “Jeez, __________, you’ll really get yourself killed if you keep trying to keep up with me.”

   “Freckles?” I whisper.

   Marco smiles and laughs again, “Really hit your head hard, didn’t you?”

   “Freckles?” I whisper again, reaching out to touch him.

   This isn’t real. It can’t be real. He’s dead. Bit in half. Died alone. Left in the sun to rot for days. He’s dead. 

   “Ah, jeez, you really did hit your head hard,” Marco mumbles, crouching down beside me. “We gotta get you to Sasha. She’s got some experience with injuries, doesn’t she…? And I won’t even tell Reiner! It’ll just be between us, okay?” He asks, worriedly scanning my face. 

   “Freckles, you… You… You aren’t here.”

   “What are ya talkin’ about? I’m right here, remember? We were practicing horseback riding and maneuvering. Don’t you remember the bet we had?”

   Wait a moment.

   This was real.

   This… this happened already, why am I…?

   “...it was my haul from the Commandant’s office,” I whisper, “The… the fountain pen. You’d… you’d take it if I couldn’t pull off a sharp turn and activate my ODM gear while jumping off my horse.”

   Tears start to cloud my vision as I stare up at him. “You aren’t really here,” I croak, “Are you?”

   Marco shakes his head.

   “...I miss you, Freckles,” I smile, tears slipping down my face as I look up at him. My hand brushes through his cheek- like he was a colored mist- but his smile remains. “Gods, I miss you.”

   “You’ll see us again.”

   I nod, feeling my tears start down the sides of my face. “...tell Franz and Hanna I said ‘hi’.”

  “I will.”

   “And you… you stay outta trouble, you hear me?” I laugh, tears choking me at the base of my chest. 

   “You’re the one that needs to stay outta trouble.”

   I nod and laugh again, shaking my head.

   “...take… take care’a the others for me, will you?” I nod silently. Marco looks up as Horse trots closer. “It’s time for me to go. Just… close your eyes, okay?”

   My eyes slide closed before voices start to swarm around me. Bleeding into one another, it makes it so damned hard to hear what anyone is actually saying. All I can do is feel. 

   And someone’s got me by the shoulders, shaking me pretty damned hard. 

   I open my eyes to see familiar faces. “...I’ve got to stop waking up to you guys looking down at me like I’ve died.”

   The four of them sigh. 

   “If you die because of a stupid horse incident, I’ll never forgive you,” Jean mutters, getting to his feet and walking away. I can hear him muttering about ‘how stupid’ of a funeral that would be. 

   “What?” I laugh, wincing at the pain shooting from above my left eye. My fingers graze the spot- only to pull away with a scarlet coloring. 

   Ah, shit. 

   “So,” Reiner grumbles, scooping me off the ground effortlessly. “You and your horse have a bit of an issue?”

   I scoff, curling into myself as my head starts to pound. 

   “No?” He asks as we walk towards the castle. “Then what the Hell kind of stunt were you tryin’a pull?”

   “I-,” I stop and groan, clutching my temples as they begin to sear. “I… I thought… I thought I saw someone.”

   Reiner looks down at me as he pushes the castle door open with his back. Eyebrows furrowed, eyes flicking over every inch of me. It’s the same damn look as every other time I’ve gotten hurt. Which… arguably… is a lot of times. 

   The ODM incident where I almost cracked my skull open on a tree branch. 

   The time I slipped and fell in the bathroom. 

   The sparring training where I cracked three of my ribs. And my arm. And dislocated my shoulder. All because I wouldn’t yield.

   The rooftop. 

   The grocery store. 

   Various little minor accidents scattered throughout.  

   And now this.

   We round the corner and he places me onto a bed. I watch as he runs a hand down my face and sticks his head out the hallway to look around before returning to my side. Reiner sighs. “What am I gonna do with you?”

   “Love me,” I hum, closing my eyes slightly as the pain throbs and squirms beneath my skin. “Unconditionally.”

   “Gods,” he mutters, scooting closer. “I probably will.”

  “Probably?” I ask quietly. “Not ‘most definitely’?”

   A deep sigh passes his lips. It rumbles in his chest like thunder. Calming, soothing, gentle thunder. Memories of the forest running to find shelter as another storm took us by surprise. Bare feet padding the grass. Clothes sticking to our skins. Hair plastered to our faces- much like our smiles. Wiping her face as she ducks behind my arm. Telling her that the forest was telling the sky a joke, that the thunder was the sky’s laughter. Watching her peek out to watch the forest and sky talk, laughing as she swears she heard the punchline. 

   Does she remember what it was like to not be afraid?

   “Hey,” Rei mutters, shaking my arm slightly. “Don’t go to sleep on me yet.”

   “...sorry,” I mumble, opening my eyes and letting them glide to his spot beside me. “Where is she-”

  The door slams open. Sasha- with eyes wide and clutching medical supplies to her chest- pants in the doorway. “Did I make it?” She asks wearily. 

   “Did…,” I trail off, sitting up to look at her. “Did you think I died?”

   Sasha shakes her head, kicking the door closed just as Connie and Jean try to walk in behind her. “No,” she mutters. Plopping down beside me, she looks over me. “Just thought maybe you’d passed out.”

   “Check my eyes,” I remind her. Sasha nods and leans in, forcing open my eyes with her fingers. 

   “...your eye-holes seem to be fine.”

   “...my pupils?”

   “Eye-holes. Same thing.”

   I know Sasha’s joking but by the look on Reiner’s face, he does not.

   “She’s only kidding, love,” I whisper as I take his hand. “She knows the basics.”

   “Yep,” Sasha agrees, digging through the pile of medical supplies she brought in. “And you don’t have a concussion- and that thing on your head doesn’t need stitches- it should heal in a week or so... so you’re good to go after I clean it… ha!” She snatches a bottle of saline and a bandage. “You’ll be all good in no time, __________. Trust me.”

   I’m the one that taught her. Why don’t I trust her?

   “You awake?”

   I focus back in on the now. The present. My surroundings. 

   Scattered trees and hills to the right. Denser trees on my left. Two horses trailing behind me. No flares from either direction. Reiner just in front of me. 

   “Always am.”

   “Good.” He starts to pull back on his horse, levelling off with me. “How’s your head?”

   Instinctively, I reach up and graze the bandage. “I don’t feel anything.”

   “Good.”

   “...are you okay?” I ask, looking over at him. His skin is pale and flushed pink with a slight tinge to his ears. “Here. Drink some.” Unbuckling my flask, I hand it to him. 

   ...and he downs the entire thing before handing it back to me. 

   “Rei, are you sick?”

   “No, I just-”

   “Well, love, you look like you’re either about to shit yourself or vomit,” I laugh worriedly, “Are you sure?”

   “__________, listen, I…,” he sighs and looks away. He’s even more red now. 

   I nudge him with my elbow. “I’m listening.” I smirk, stirrupping Horse again. My eyes turn to the horizon, scanning for any flares or anything that approaches us.

   Reiner returns my smile and sighs shakily. “I wanna-”

   Something appears in the distance. “What is that?” I mumble, staring at the thing. “Do you see it?” I point. “That.”

    Reiner looks at the thing, squinting. “I… I can’t tell.”

   “Should we fire a flare off?” I ask, reaching to my saddlebag. “Just in case?”

   “Just… hang on-”

   He stops just as the thing changes form, moving closer towards us and faster. 

   It takes shape as it grows. Fourteen meters, blonde hair. 

   Female body type.

   My hands move on their own- throwing the canister into the gun, lifting it straight up, and firing. Red smoke fires out from the gun into the clouds. “Rei, we have to move!” I yell, turning the horses in towards the center of the formation. 

   I look over my shoulder, watching the two horses trail after Reiner. He stays going forward, heading right for it with glazed eyes. “Reiner!”

   My eyes follow his gaze as I bring Horse to a stop. They land on the Female Titan, who snatches something from mid-air and dropkicks it. Blood trails after the broken body and I watch ODM wires disconnect from the Female Titan’s body- following the body. 

   It’s… is it like Eren? A person inside it?

   “Reiner!” I scream again. 

   It gets his attention. Snapping out of his daze, Reiner makes a sharp turn. 

   As he gets closer, I press my heels into Horse’s sides. “Ha!”

   Footsteps follow after us, thundering and quivering the very organs inside of me. My breath catches in my lungs as I feel it- her- getting closer. Gods. Gods, please. Not like this. Not like this. Not like this. Not like this.

   Something flashes at my side. With trembling force, a foot lands beside me- crushing one of the horses before it could even make a sound. 

   We’re going to die. Right now, we are going to die. 

   I wince, waiting for her to reach down and crush me in her hand. Reiner yells something but it’s lost in the frantic whinnies of our horses, the pounding of my heart, the panting of my lungs. When it reaches me, it’s blurred together like the colors in my eyes.

   ‘I’ve gotten hurt’ is what it sounds like. 

   Gods, please. Spare us.

   My fists clutch the reins as I look up. Blonde hair, blue eyes, fourteen meters. This is what will kill me. 

   The Female Titan’s other foot collides with the earth beside me. All at once, sounds and colors and shapes retract into their determined forms. Everything flushes back into focus as the Female Titan takes another step away from us. I watch as she continues sprinting towards the center- leaving us in her wake. Her head turns to look over her shoulder before she presses forward. 

   Right to Armin.

   “Rei!” I yell, sticking Horse again. “She’s gonna hit Armin! She’s headed right for him!” 

   “C’mon!” He yells back, appearing at my side.

   “This is the job we chose, right?” Jean snaps, “So lend me a hand!” 

   The rest of us are silent. Only hoofbeats and footsteps resound around us. Silently, Armin pulls his hood up over his head. “...pull your hoods up. Over your heads- far down enough so she can’t see your face.”

   “You’re thinking she won’t kill anyone that could be Eren,” Reiner mutters, tugging his hood up over his head. “...that’s a nice, but small, consolation… Let’s hope she has bad eyes, too.”

   Jean shakes his head, laughing. “I was always creeped out the way you used to hang around Eren so much,” he mutters as he pulls his hood up. “But I always knew you were capable.”

  “...‘creeped out’ is a little harsh but thanks,” Armin mumbles.

   Feeling the three pairs of eyes on me, I tug my hood up as well. “...I always knew I’d die next to you three bastards.”

  “Well. If we don’t,” Reiner chuckles, “We’ll throw a big party ‘nd get married.”

  “Oh yeah,” I scoff, pulling my swords out from their holsters. “We’ll have a big ol’ buffet ‘nd everything. I’ll even have a live band play for us.”

   “You two lovebirds over there still squawking?” Jean barks, leaning forward to glare at us. 

   “Will you shut up for a minute?” Reiner shoots back, “I’m… Kinda doin’ something.”

   “You can ‘kinda do something’ after this!” Jean yells, “We’re not dying today.”

   “Fine!” I snap, “I’m not spending my last moments fighting with you two morons! Let’s just do this. Delay her as long as we can- by any means necessary. Got it?!”

   The three grunt in agreement. “Jean, go to her left,” Reiner starts, “Armin, you go to her right. __________, you-”

   “I’m going with Armin!” I whip my reins and follow after Armin as he heads to the Female Titan’s right hand side. 

   We level off just behind her. “She’s much slower than when she attacked me!” Armin comments, “If we’re going to do this, it has to be now!”

   “Wait for Jean!” I yell, “He’s the best out of us with ODM gear. If he can get a good angle on her, it’ll be us being his support!” 

   A flash shoots out, launching into the Female Titan’s leg. Jean flies in behind it with his swords readied. The Titan crouches down and spins- flinging Jean. Armin and I get to our feet and stand on our horses’ backs. As my wires stick into the Female Titan’s leg, I give Horse a tap of my heel that sends him running away from the Titan. 

   Something swipes just under my legs. Everything around me slows as I watch the Titan’s hand bat Armin’s horse out from underneath him. His name leaves my lips the same way it did when Shiganshina fell. Breathless. Screeching. Desperate. “Armin!”

   “__________!” Reiner’s voice carries out over my own. 

   Before I can do anything, I feel something crack against my back. I’m pushed forward- colliding with the earth and rolling for a few feet. Landing on my back, I stare up in a daze at the clouds. 

   Aching pain crawls through my veins- igniting my muscles in throbbing, squeezing pain. My back arches as I take long, hard breaths to stop my heart from pounding in my ears. It does nothing but amplify the sound as I feel my lungs burn and the cages around them scream in agony. 

   Broken ribs. At least a few on each side. 

   Certain slices and patches of my skin burn from the contact with the ground. Minor scratches, bruises, friction burns.

   I’ll live. If she doesn’t finish me off. 

   Time begins to speed up again- her footsteps not taking so long to hit the ground as they get closer. Clouds seem to flurry past and my heartbeat begins to race once more. 

   The fight isn’t done yet. 

   I push myself to my feet, feeling every ache, every pain, every burn a million times over. 

   The fight isn’t done yet. 

   I’m not done yet. 

   The Female Titan tightens her fist, preparing to swing backwards at Jean. Breaking out into a sprint, I click my triggers and shoot my wires into the ground, allowing me to run faster. A blur of gold and green starts towards the Titan as I do- catching me attention so I stutter and stop. 

   Reiner. 

   Teeth gritted, eyes blazing, blades glinting.   He’s going for her nape.

   Armin’s yelling something. The Titan stays completely still as he continues screaming. 

   And then she snaps. 

   She catches Reiner’s body in her hand. 

   My heart stops. Blood stops. Lungs stop. 

   Everything. 

   Stops.

   “...no.” 

   Chills run down my spine- dull and weak. Nothing like adrenaline. 

   Fear.

   “No… no.”

   I shake my head, watching as Reiner’s body disappears in her grasp. 

   Someone grabs my waist, tugs me away. “No!” I scream, thrashing around as everything starts to move again. “No!” 

   “__________!” Jean yells, pulling me away. “We have to go!” 

   A blur of metal spins out from her grip, severing her fingers off from the base of her palm. Reiner pushes out and around her back. Grabbing Armin, he sprints away from her and towards us. 

   The four of us break out into a sprint as she stares down at her palm. She gets to her feet and runs away from us- her hand still steaming. 

   Something breaks inside of me. Tears start running down my face as Reiner sidles up next to me. Armin- bleeding from his forehead- is in his arms. Titan blood evaporates off of Reiner’s hair and shoulders as he looks down at me. “We’ll be okay! She won’t eat us unless she’s a cannibal! We-”

   I cut him off, punching his shoulder as hard as I can. “Don’t you ever pull that shit again, Reiner Braun!” I snap, furiously wiping the tears rolling down my face. “I swear on the walls, I… I will kill you myself if you do, do you hear me?! You scared the shit outta me! I… I thought I lost you.”

   Reiner laughs breathlessly. “I told you, darling. We haven’t gotten married, yet. I can’t die until that happens.”

   “We aren’t leaving anyone behind,” I snap, tightening Armin’s bandages. “None of that, you hear me?”

   “We might not have a choice,” Armin mutters, “If we all stay behind, we might all-”

   “I said no!” 

   The three of us go silent as Jean continues whistling for his horse. 

   But the question still hangs in the air. 

   Who’s going to stay behind?

   There’s only one horse- there’s four of us. If somehow one of us gets our horse back, we’ll be able to get out of here but until then… We’re stranded in Titan country without a means of escape. 

   “We have to talk about it,” Reiner says quietly. 

   “No,” I get to my feet and shake my head. “No. We don’t.”

   “__________-”

  I hold up a hand to stop him, “Don’t.” Turning to Jean, I gesture to his bag. “You have an emergency flare, yeah?”

   Jean nods and gets it out, loading it into his gun. Shooting it into the sky, purple smoke trails up from our location. 

   It’s a long shot, but they might get the message. 

   “We can wait three more minutes,” Reiner says firmly. “During then, we’ll decide who’s gonna-”

  “I’ll stay.” My head snaps to Armin. “Just get a message to the command section- to Commander Erwin, if you can.”

   “I’m staying, too, then.”

   “__________, no-” Reiner starts. 

   “I don’t want to hear it, Rei,” I mumble, “Please. I don’t… I don’t want to hear it but look. We’re both injured. Armin’s got a possible concussion and he’s bleeding. I’ve broken half a dozen ribs and I’ve got more bruises than I know what to do with. If anyone’s staying it’s-”

   “Neither of you,” Jean laughs, “Someone’s coming this way with three horses.” The three of us look over to him as he shades his face from the sun. “I think it’s… It looks like… Christa!”

   “Guys!” Christa’s dainty voice rings out as she approaches, “Are you okay?!”

   I huff a laugh, “Define ‘okay’, blondie!” 

   “If __________’s still cracking jokes, she’s still alive, right?” Christa laughs, coming to a stop just in front of us. The three horses surrounding her skid to a stop. 

   Horse trots up to me, nudging me with his nose. “Hey there, Horse,” I mutter, pressing my head against his. “Ya miss me?”

   “What happened to you guys?” Christa asks as she looks over me. “You look awful.”

  “Aw, gee, thanks, blondie,” I giggle, “I feel awful.”

   Christa’s soft face tightens slightly in concern. “...you’re sure you’ll be okay riding alone? Your horse… I dunno his name… but he seems to run alongside me pretty well- even without a harness.”

   “Yeah, that’s him, alright,” I mumble, rubbing Horse’s nose. “But I think I’ll be alright.”

   “...I’m with Christa,” Jean says warily, “You broke six ribs.”

   “What?!” Christa screeches. “Six?! No, ma’am! You’re riding with me or with Jean! Six ribs- what were you thinking?!”

   I shrug. “I’ve done worse.”

   “Worse?!” 

   Oops. Shouldn’t have said that.

   Christa sighs, pinching her eyes closed. “Fine. The past is the past. I can’t change it. But you- right now- are going to ride with Jean or me. Pick one.”

   “Yes, Your Majesty,” I mumble with a smirk. “I’ll ride with you. Give the boys a little show, how ‘bout that?”

   Christa turns a light shade of pink as Reiner helps me sit on top of Christa’s horse. “You behave,” Reiner mutters with a stern look. 

   But I can see it. 

   A little mischievous smirk plays his lips as he pulls away. 

   “Yes sir,” I coo, “I’ll be on my best behaviour.”

   The four of us start off towards the center. “What’s your horse’s name?” Christa asks. “He really seems to like you. Before, I couldn’t get him to hold still- then, when I said your name, he calmed down and followed us perfectly fine.”

   “...I just call him Horse.”

   “...oh…”

   I sigh and turn around to watch as Horse gallops. Cream-colored coat hiding thick muscles that twitch and writhe. Dots- freckles- that spatter his coat. His black mane whips about in the wind. 

   “Freckles,” I say quietly. 

   “What?”

   “Freckles. That’s his name.”

   I groan, letting my head fall back as my legs swing off the tree branch. “Rei, we’ve been sitting here for hours and you haven’t said a word to me,” my lip juts out in a pout, “Please talk to me.”

   Reiner grumbles under his breath. His arms cross over his chest as he sits on the farest end of the tree branch away from me. 

   “Baby,” I whine, “you aren’t still mad at me for-”

   “Yes, I’m still mad at you for being a tease. And we’ve been out here an hour. Hour and a half, tops.”

   “Tch,” I groan again, “Baby, it was just a joke. I didn’t mean to drop my ring.” I hold my hand out in the sun to look at my moonstone ring as it glistens. “It wasn’t on purpose.”

   “...you dropped it three times before we got up here.”

  “I would never do anything to tease you.” Reiner raises an eyebrow and I roll my eyes. “On a mission.”

   Rei’s shoulders lose some of their tension. “...you really didn’t mean to?”

   “Of course not, baby,” I coo softly. “Not on a mission.”

   Reiner sighs and rolls his eyes before getting to his feet. Wordlessly, he plops down beside me and lays his hand over mine on the branch. “You only call me ‘baby’ when you’re guilty,” he murmurs into the shell of my ear. “...so I forgive you.”

   “Oh good, you caught on,” I tease, nudging him with my elbow.

   “Easy, there, girl,” he huffs, “you’re still on thin ice.”

  “You can’t stay mad at me,” I turn to face him and flash him a face-splitting smile. “I’m your darling.”

   “...you’re right,” Rei laughs softly. “I could never.”

   The two of us fall into a comfortable- buzzing with adrenaline but still comfortable- silence. I lean forward to look at the Titans gathered at the base of our tree, clawing and gripping the bark in an attempt to get to us. Hungrily, they salivate and stare up at us with glazed eyes.

   The Female Titan. Why is she doing what she was? If she’s human, wouldn’t she want the walls to remain? They keep us safe for the time being. The outside world isn’t ready for us to break down our walls. And if she does want the walls gone, why? 

   And who is she?

   “...are you listening?”

   “Hm?” I ask, leaning back. “No, I’m sorry, I was just…,” my eyes flick down to the Titans, “...lost in thought.”

   “I was just asking how your sides are.”

   My fingers rub against my sides. They aren’t sore, they don’t hurt. I’ve always healed fast but knowing how long it’s supposed to take to heal sometimes, it’s… a little disconcerting. “I don’t feel anything.”

   “...you’re better already?”

   I shrug, “It could just be adrenaline. Or maybe they weren’t as badly broken as we thought they were. Bruising and breaks are really similar…”

   Reiner hums in acknowledgment. “As long as you feel okay. When we get back, I’m still getting you checked out.”

   “Yes sir.”

   I lean over the side of the branch to see the Titans again. “It’s strange that we weren’t directed around the forest.” I comment quietly, leaning over more before my ODM wire locks into place.

   “...Iyeah,” Reiner mutters, “Why wouldn’t we just go around?”

   “I dunno,” I strain, slightly jiggling the wire a bit. “But do you think it was on purpose?”

   “It’s Commander Erwin,” Rei chuckles, “Of course it was.”

   “That’s true… I just… It’s so hard for us to see threats coming in,” I grip the wire and tug harder. “So why send them in?”

   “Assuming he knows of the right flank casualties, we should’ve retreated a long time ago,” he mutters, “But we’re here and the center flank is somewhere in the trees.”

   “Which is also weird, right?” I ask, yanking on the wire even harder. “I mean, if we are gonna go in, why not-”

   The wire snaps out of the branch. The force of me pulling sends me over the edge of the branch. I watch as the wire extends rapidly- reeling me down towards the Titans’ grasps. Reiner runs to the end, reaching out to grab my hand. 

   But it’s too late. 

   A hand wraps around my body and pulls, unlatching my ODM wire from the tree. It starts to tighten as it turns me around to face it. My eyes lock onto it and I scream, thrashing around wildly. My arms are pinned in its hold- trapped against the steel of my ODM blade holsters and the clammy flesh wrapped around me. 

   Another Titan stares at me hungrily. As I look at it, red light starts to pour from its eyes like fog. Without warning, it lunges. I wince and duck away- waiting to be engulfed in moist darkness. 

   It doesn’t come. It’s replaced with an unearthly howl of pain and the sound of tearing flesh. 

   The grip around me falls away and as I’m spun in a free-fall, I catch glimpses of the scene above me. Red fog pours from the Titans’ eyes as they all latch onto the Titan that grabbed me. Bite by bite, they tear into the searing flesh of the Titan and devour the steaming chunks of bleeding meat. 

   They’re… eating it. 

   The red fog. 

   It was real. 

   My body stops, swinging up before I hit the forest floor. As we land on another branch, Reiner hugs me to his body tightly. “You scared the shit out of me,” he says raggedly. I feel tears drip onto my shoulder. But I don’t look at him- even as he pulls away, gripping my shoulders. 

   My eyes are focused on the fog swirling through the bodies of the Titans.

   What the Hell is it? 

   Why does it keep following me?

   Why does it keep saving me?

   “...__________!”

   I’m pulled back into my body- away from the grasping hands of the Titans that force muscles and tendons and organs down their throats. Blankly, I stare at Reiner. “What happened?” he asks quietly, looking over his shoulder at the Titans. “Are you-”

   A scream rips out of my throat as I look down at my hands. My fingers start to rake through my skin, clawing for the source of the red fog. 

   Get it out. 

   Get it out. 

   Get it out. 

   Get it out. 

   Get it out. 

   Get it out. 

   Get it out. 

   Get it out. 

   Get it out. 

   Get it out. 

   Get. It. Out. 

   Reiner’s hands fumble with mine as they try to stop me from continuing the hurried slicing of my skin. “Darling, darling,” he says calmly as he grabs my wrists, “Darling, hey, look at me. Look at me.”

   Wildly, my eyes fly around my surroundings. 

   Get it out. Red fog. Red fog. I have to get it out. I have to find it.

   Red fog. I have to get it out. 

   Red fog. 

   “__________!” Reiner snaps, shaking me by my wrists, “Look at me!”

   My gaze settles on him but I can feel myself twitching and writhing in place. 

   Red fog. 

   Get it out. I have to get it out. 

   “...you’re okay,” he mumurs, “You’re okay now, okay, darling? You’re safe.”

   Tears burst from my eyes, leaking down my face as I roll my hands around from my wrists. Trembling violently, my body falls to the floor. Reiner catches me before I fall, scooping me up under my arms and holding me to him. 

   “There’s something... inside of me,” I strain, keeping down the screams wanting to claw their way out. My nails rake his back- threatening to rip through the fabric. “There is... something inside of me, Rei. I don’t know what it is. And I’m so scared, Rei. I just… I don’t… I don’t understand it. I… I don’t know... what it is. There’s… There’s something inside of me, Reiner, please! Please, Rei! Take it out! Get it out of me!”

WHEW 

a doozy like i said. if you made it this far, i am so proud of you. my short attention span could literally never. as always thank you so much for reading and i hope to hear your thoughts and comments!